End of Summer Goals

As summer is coming to a close, I wanted to reflect on my "Adult Summer Goals" as promised. Some things were easier than expected, others were much harder, and in both cases I learned a lot. Here were the goals I had made:

1) Volunteer

2) Create something new

3) Read good books

4) Go on adventures

5) Expand my knowledge of cooking

6) Build on relationships with family and friends

I want to reflect briefly on each goal in turn, saying things I did or didn't do, and what I learned from the experience.

1 - Volunteer

This was the goal I was most excited about from the beginning of the summer, and it went differently than I expected. I was ready to fit Volunteering in my schedule when summer term started mid June, so I called Wasatch Mental Health about becoming a Volunteer because you have to attend a Volunteer Orientation meeting. I learned about the orientation meeting was the next day and I didn't have enough time to rearrange my schedule, so I planned to attend the next one mid July. Mid July came and I enjoyed Volunteer Orientation, and became increasingly excited about the program I wanted most to volunteer with - Giant Steps, a preschool type program for children with Autism. I called the director of this program and found they weren't really in need of volunteers at the time. They said they would be in need of volunteers come September when the school year started though - so I planned on that and chose a different program to volunteer with until September. The first time I went to volunteer with the second program I chose to volunteer with, I found it to be a wonderful program with wonderful people and staff, but that I wasn't really needed at the time that worked in my schedule by that time in the summer and I didn't find the experience as fulfilling as I had hoped. I finally determined to just wait until September to contact Giant Steps again and volunteer with them during the Fall semester. 

2 - Create something new

This goal didn't go stupendously either (some of them did! Sorry these two come first, haha). I can't think of a single thing that I really created new. But there were things that I continued creating, and I'm glad I focused my efforts there. I continued writing in my Journal and making blog posts, and I continued learning how to take pictures. These three things are important to me in recording memories and things I learn, and they are beneficial to my mental and emotional health. It is SO fun to take pictures of little kids too, you guys. Oh man. I have the fun opportunity of a ceramics class coming up this Fall Semester as well, and I'm stoked for that.

3 - Read good books

I began the summer having finished two great books - The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell and Crucial Conversations - over the spring term, and I was really enjoying the mental revitalization that reading brings. I must admit I was a little worried when I made this goal that I wouldn't have good books to read or that I would phase out of enjoying reading. I read the Happiness Project with a book club, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (borrowed from a neighbor), and then asked people I thought would have similar tastes in books to me what some of the best books they have read are. I bought books from Amazon and lined them up on our shelf. I read Freakenomics in two weeks as we finished finals, and I finished that book really wanting to get some sort of Economics for Dummies book or sit in on Economics lectures. I brought Blink and Mere Christianity with us to Washington for our two week summer break, and I have been reading Blink with Andrew as we drive after we finished his childhood favorite on CD (borrowed from his sister) Chickens in the Headlights (followed by Bullies in the Headlights). I'm beginning to think I'll only phase out of enjoying reading if I don't have books I am excited to read. And I consider it a worthwhile investment to have exciting books for me, Andrew and our kids (:

4 - Go on adventures

I enjoy both the planning and the execution of adventures. We were working and taking classes, but we had some really fun adventures planned, and I enjoyed having those to look forward to. We looked up little hikes to waterfalls near Provo and went on a whole one of them, but have a list of possibilities for future weekend hikes amid school too (: We continued our French Fry Friday tradition and that has proven a fun mini-adventure for us outside of the house and often away from campus each week. We chose and planned for things we really wanted to do - go to Seattle together, hike Eagle Creek in Oregon, and have a fun adventure for my birthday (a ziplining tour!) and went on those adventures. I'm grateful for Andrew's support and excitement with me. An adventure plan often starts with me picking something I think fits well in our calendar and budget and saying, "Hey, can we...?" And he has never said no, so we think about a good place in the calendar and put it in. Visiting family, school, and work are in themselves great adventures, are things like reading books and for us, playing Horizon Zero Dawn on the PS4 we bought this summer. I just happen to be a person that enjoys outdoor adventures too. I asked Andrew if we could go to Yellowstone over Thanksgiving break, and what do you know - it's now in the calendar.

5 - Expand my knowledge of cooking.

I laughed the other day realizing that the most knowledgeable chef in our home is google, but we have become quite good at following recipes! I made cherry limeade, fruit pizza, peach cobbler, chicken fajitas, and onion rings. My husband (who I don't force to do these things, I promise, he just enjoys picking up on things I enjoy like reading books and trying new recipes I guess. He's quite the guy) made a new potato soup, a cream cheese chocolate crumble sort of dessert and headed up the making of onion rings. In "The Happiness Project", it talked about increasing our happiness by 1) doing more of things that make us happy, and 2) being aware of things that don't make us happy, and doing less of them or taking care of them. A good example of the second point would be finishing tasks we have been avoiding for a long time, because they take away from our happiness. Trying new recipes this summer has been a way of me tackling something that I wish I was better at - cooking - and feeling less of that small guilt/fear, and replacing it with fun grocery trips, time with my hubby in the kitchen, and good food. (I do want to say that the guilt I can feel about being a mediocre cook is entirely me. Andrew has been clear that he doesn't expect me to be the best cook, because he's not, and we can figure out good and simple meals together, which we have, and which has been great for us. I do feel a lot of satisfaction in making good food, and wanted to be able to make more of it.) Check it out!! I started doing one recipe a week, and though I didn't stick with one a week, continuing new foods came naturally as we had Sunday afternoons of time and wanted to make grocery shopping and dinners a little more fun.

6 - Build on relationships with family and friends

My best friend Brinnley is currently serving a mission in Georgia, and I emailed her every week with updates on us and pictures. I think I could say my friendship with her has increased with her time there, and that I something that I am proud of. I must admit emailing her comes really naturally because of our friendship that has spanned over 10 years. I have enjoyed writing to my in-laws on missions as well, Aubrey and Daniel, and am excited about staying in better contact with them. Andrew and I have prioritized family in scheduling our year, and I'm grateful for that. We continue to enjoy spending time with friends through ward activities, our Group FHE every other Monday, and inviting couples over for dinners or games - another motivation for food creations and adding to our game pile. When with my family in Washington, I started getting ideas for Christmas presents (because that is something that makes me happy), and we're excited to spend our Winter holiday with both our families (Peters for Christmas and a Jacobson Family Reunion!). Time with friends is different when you're married and not surrounded by several roommates at any given point in time, but I am both content and grateful for the time we have spent with friends and family. Andrew's sister and my sister both live nearby with their husbands, and we have been able to do fun things with both of them this summer. When driving to Seattle and Portland, we stopped by extended families' houses and stayed with one of Andrew's closest friends and his family. We are truly spoiled with great people.

Now I have the opportunity to make "End of Summer" Goals (I'm proud of the multiple meanings of the title of this post). Don't worry, I don't plan to make another post or another follow-up on goals for a while. The important thing isn't the list of activities completed or pictures of things done or created, but the progress. Progress makes us happy and gives us something to live for, work hard for, and look forward to. Reflection can help us realize successes, some of which we may not have considered successes at the time College is a time that presents obvious opportunities for progress in classes and work opportunities, but so does family and friends, and fun talents or new experiences. We aren't limited by our age or life situation. There's always something to learn and something fun to do. I hope I can always find a lot of progress no matter what my resume looks like (: Life is good!

Traditions

Leaving home for work, schooling, or other reasons gives an individual many different opportunities. One of the less obvious of these opportunities is the chance to reflect on your own family and how you want to keep or change things about how you were raised for the rest of your life and a potential future family.

Many family and marriage books talk about traditions as a valuable tool for tying a family together. They can also be times to reinforce important family values, such as reading the Christmas story around Christmas time. 

Making traditions happen requires effort, especially from the adults/parents involved. I'm grateful for these efforts made in the traditions of our families. I personally think there are two kinds of best traditions - the ones that reinforce important values in a solemn way, and those that are completely ridiculous to everyone else but totally awesome to you. I know those are two extremes, but man both are so cool.

With that in mind, here are some of our family traditions that I want to put in the effort to keep in my family, because they have strengthened my relationship to family members and I know it can continue to do so, as well as strengthen the love and memories in Andrew and my little family.

Hug pictures on birthdays. I think this started from a "silly picture" idea one year, but now they're my favorite. If you don't think you're loved, too bad. There's proof! Even when not everyone is happy and it doesn't work out the greatest, because... family pictures.

We have a similar "hug picture" on our wedding day, and it makes my heart happy.

Family pictures once a year. Andrew and I came up with this one ourselves. We don't have kids yet, but we do want to continue investing in remembering us and our family as it does grow, because our family is important to us, and pictures are really valuable to me. We'll see if we really stick to this one, but we're going to try!

Special dinners. The Peters have "Cranberry Ice" with Thanksgiving and the Jacobsons have Shirley Temples Christmas Eve, and I like delicious drinks! The Jacobsons have a special tomato soup for Christmas Eve and I don't love tomato soup, and the Peters have Clam Chowder and Andrew doesn't love Clam Chowder, so we'll likely find something we both really like (:

The Hill Cumorah Pageant. The Hill Cumorah Pageant was as much a home to Andrew's family as any of their houses were as a military family. They have been a part of the cast for 6-9*** years, and it is always a meaningful spiritual and family experience for them. When Andrew and I were dating, I realized he was welcoming me into his family when he asked if I would want to join them for pageant that next summer. We weren't able to make it this summer, and might not be able to make it next summer either, but we are excited to be able to fly out to see it and his family there when we can, and to be in the cast together one day.

 

Family reunions. These can be tricky.

 They require a lot of effort to plan and coordinate, and are investments for people getting together. It's different for every family, but some of my favorite reunion experiences have been going fun places together (like a pool or a big park), family Olympic Games, Talent Shows, White Elephant Gift Exchanges, and my grandma's notorious Favorite Child Award for her kids (and our parents), which has been a trophy/medallion/wrestling belt/royal robe, and the process of which is different every year, from family campaigning to a name drawn out of a hat to grandkids voting on the funniest Mad Libs.

 It doesn't work for every family, but man is it hilarious in ours.

Gifts to Jesus. At the beginning of December at a Family Home Evening, we choose gifts to Jesus and tie a ribbon on the Christmas tree to represent and remind us of our gift. It could be being kinder to someone, improving a habit, serving someone, or whatever effort you feel like you could give to Christ that month. We talk later in the month about what our gifts to Jesus were, if we want to share, and how they went. This has been meaningful to me as I grew and helped me to remember Christ and turn outwards during the Christmas season. I love other families' traditions of adopting families for Christmas, and I might tie those together somehow with our kids some day. 

Lighting candles for the names of Christ. Christmas is probably the most tradition-rich time of year, so it's no surprise that many of my personal favorite traditions are Christmas ones. The Jacobsons have a Christmas tradition of lighting one large center candle for the name "Jesus Christ", and then several each person lights one tea light around the center candle for another name of Christ until we consult the Bible Dictionary/Topical Guide and eventually run out of names. The words that represent of what Christ is for us and the metaphor of him being our light is really powerful. I happen to only have a video of Bryan (Andrew's twin) blowing out the candles this past year, so here you go:

My siblings all sleep in the same room Christmas Eve and we tell funny stories or watch a movie in the basement as we go to sleep. We switched through my siblings bedrooms, the living rooms, and even the hallway, and now mostly sleep in the basement because it is big enough to hold all of us and our spouses. It's so fun to be together and share the anticipation of Christmas Day.

The Brother's hike. My dad and his brothers like camping and hiking, and have gotten together pretty regularly during the summers to go hiking together. As the brothers' kids grew, they got to start coming too. I really enjoy these times of being away and into nature. You really talk to and enjoy each other and can have pretty funny log-raft building or freezing lake-jumping experiences. Now and then someone will start singing a hymn around the campfire or while walking and the others will join in, and those have been really memorable and sacred experiences for me. Imagine how happy I was that Andrew really enjoyed our mini-brothers-hike last year and was asking my uncles at our family reunion if we would have one this year (:

Traditions don't have to be big things, though those can be really fun. The little things are just as important, if not more so. You usually don't realize just how many traditions you have. Going to Church every Sunday, or having family game/movie nights or family/couple walks are all things that have meant a lot to me. It's so cool to be in time where I am more obviously deciding and creating my own life and my life with my husband, but we all make these decisions every day. Making new goals, picking new aspirations, or adding a new tradition is just all part of the fun. What traditions mean a lot to you?

A Story of Us - Forgiveness and Strength

Small moments can teach you a lot. This was one of those moments for me.

I can be hard on myself for little things, have bad days, make mistakes, or have things not go as planned. But that is different than really doing something wrong or really failing at something.

Both of those situations are hard. The first situation of imperfections, bad days, mistakes, and changed plans are frustrations that are mostly struggles within myself mentally and emotionally. I have to let go and keep moving forward, and that can be really hard sometimes. It can be a humbling and growing experience, and tricky because there isn't always a defined best way, just the way that I'm trying to do my best.

This wasn't one of those times. This was a time I really did wrong and failed at something. I would share the exact experience, but I think it would take away from my overall point. It was a time where there was a definite right decision and a wrong decision. And I chose the wrong decision. I had logical reasons for why it was okay, but I knew it wasn't okay because it didn't feel okay. I felt awful and empty and dark, and it had been a long time since I had felt that way.

This was right before going to sleep, and Andrew asked me to say the prayer (we always pray together before going to sleep). I knelt and prepared to pray, but I couldn't. I was so caught up in this experience and the emptiness I felt. I didn't want to pray.

I had a similar (but in some ways opposite) experience when dating Andrew. I was struggling with my faith, and was frustrated. Andrew asked me if I would pray, and I told him I didn't want to. He said, "I think you need to." And knelt with me on the doormat outside my apartment as I prayed and expressed my struggles. That was the hard decision but the right decision I needed to make then - to pray anyway.

This time the hard decision was to talk to Andrew. He obviously noticed my silence when I would normally pray, and I told him briefly what had happened, though I felt ashamed and foolish. The next thing I remember is him wrapping me up in his arms. He kindly told me this didn't define who I was, and I almost laughingly replied, "I know, I just feel so stupid,", and began pulling away, wanting to hide. He held me still, and said gently but firmly, "You're not stupid. You are strong, and brave." And I cried. He listened to me as I talked about how it hurt me, and we shared a moment strength and struggle before a very meaningful couple prayer.

Andrew's example of forgiveness helped me to forgive myself. His example of faith helped me to have faith when I needed it too. It was important to realize that those experiences that were hard for me and that I didn't want to be hard and just wanted to go away... were okay. That it is valid to be wherever I am, and that you I loved and cared for during the good times and the bad times - whether the bad times be the smaller frustrating times, or real wrong decisions and dark moments.

I would love to have a great lesson to learn from this, but I mostly just feel gratitude for the power of forgiveness, which is very real whether you are religious or not, and for the possibility of learning and growth. I'm grateful for how much stronger "we" are too. Andrew and I are stronger together. Good family and friend relationships, through they require effort and aren't always perfect, make us a lot stronger too. I'm grateful I don't have to be alone, and that there is someone who can make times of darkness not feel dark (Andrew, friends and family), and someone who really can take the darkness away (Christ). It changes everything (:

Skinny Thoughts

I'm a small person. I can be described as small, I buy small sized clothes, I climb on the counters to put pots away on the top shelf. I don't think of myself as someone overly self-conscious, and I feel pretty, and happy, and content. Yet sometimes, especially over the summer where the bikini pictures are at an all-time high, I wish I was skinnier. ME. I am a totally normal, if not fairly skinny person. I KNOW it's silly for me to think those thoughts, so why do I? Especially when I am sad when others don't see beauty in themselves that is obvious to me because they are self-conscious of their size... how could I think such hypocritical thoughts?

When I had a "wish I was skinnier" thought recently, I stopped myself and asked myself a question - is that really what I wanted? To be skinny? Or did I really want something else? Aha, now there was something.

I realized I REALLY just wanted to feel 1) healthy and 2) attractive. Being healthy comes from physical decisions, while feeling attractive comes from more mental decisions, and sometimes an investment in clothes that are flattering to you (which I believe is well worth the modest investment).

I eat pretty well, I exercise pretty well, and I live a fairly active lifestyle that I am happy with. I feel attractive, and have a husband who makes me feel even more so. So, I have concluded, "skinny thoughts" don't need to have a place in my mind.

I think the majority of people are like me - still sometimes comparing themselves when they shouldn't, even if they wouldn't admit it. Not all bodies are created the same, and there are MANY people who could be considered "bigger" than me that I find gorgeous and look up to both as people AND in looks a lot. Be it natural body shape, motherhood, anti-depressants that cause weight gain, or any number of things that affect both men and women in life, maybe we should all be a little more generous to ourselves.

It's important to be happy. It's important to be healthy and to feel attractive, and investments in time, energy, and money to be healthy and feel attractive are good things. This is absolutely not to take away from those with the metabolisms and body types or workout regimens and healthy lifestyles that give them the perfectly flat stomachs the rest of us sometimes feel we should have, because they should feel healthy and attractive and be proud of themselves just like we should be. But I think there's something for the rest of us to remember. We have seen the media influence, we have heard the 'beautiful the way you are' messages enough. So, at least me, and hopefully you, should just stop thinking the skinny thoughts, and think more of the healthy and attractive ones, remembering how much we love the body we have.

A Year Ago

For the Spring term of last year (2016), I studied abroad in Spain. This was a big thing for me - a great chance to travel to Europe as I had wanted to, to learn more about the world, and to improve my fluency in Spanish. It was an investment, and an incredible experience. It was something that helped me show myself that I could truly do whatever I wanted to do.

It was also a time that Andrew and I knew that we wanted to get married. We decided to be "unofficially engaged" throughout my trip in Spain and the 88 days we would be apart for my study abroad and the summer afterward. Andrew "unofficially" proposed to me in the place that we met with a string ring like the one from The Count of Monte Cristo (a movie we had watched together and loved), and I wore that string ring while traveling in Ireland and London and throughout my study abroad in Spain.

Exploring Blarney Castle in Ireland, and thinking of Andrew (:

Spain was amazing, but I sure did miss my Andrew. When I returned to the states, my family picked me up from the airport and I spent most of the summer with my family and volunteering at a hospital while Andrew was with his in Virginia, working building a website for a company, and at the Hill Cumorah Pageant. Andrew bought tickets for me to fly out to pageant (and I may or may not have known that he planned to propose during my visit there) on July 14, which was also our 9 month anniversary of dating, and suffice it to say, I was ready to see my best friend again.

Andrew surprised me with having flowers sent to me in Washington while we were apart (:

One of many, many Skype calls with Andrew while we were apart. There was no 7 hour time difference anymore at this point, and that was a plus! Featuring a picture drawn by Miss Molly.

July 14th came, and I flew from Washington state to Rochester, New York. Andrew said he would pick me up outside the airport, which was fine because we all know how fun it is to pay for parking, but while I was looking for him outside, he came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. It's a good thing he wasn't a stranger, because I turned around pretty fast and hugged him really tight. It felt right to be together again.

Andrew being put into costume for the Hill Cumorah Pageant.

It was really neat to be at Pageant and see a place that meant so much to Andrew and his family. It was their constant home away from home as they moved every few years as a military family. The next day, July 15, Andrew and I went up to the top of the hill in the morning to read the last chapter of the Book of Mormon together, Moroni 10, a tradition of Andrew's family. We walked up and around the top of the hill and a bunch of youth that were there, found a bench, and read the last chapter together. In the last verse, Andrew had circled letters that spelled out "Will you marry me". You'd think I would have expected it, but I really hadn't. He had me walk along a path and pick up some letters he had written as he walked to the bottom of the path to a cement area where his sisters had put rose petals (best sidekicks ever. Their side of this story is awesome, if you get the chance to ask them). And he proposed with his great-grandmother's ring, that we have since gotten a wedding band to accompany and that I still wear today.

Celebrating with the back-stage crew.

Sitting in class this week (:

And now we're here, and I am so grateful for all that time in between. Here are some of my favorite moments between the above two pictures, from July 15, 2016 to July 15, 2017.

Enjoying pageant with the boy I could officially call my fiance. If you can't tell from my eye in this picture, I was pretty happy (:

Exploring D.C. after driving home with the Jacobsons after pageant.

Andrew bought my plane tickets to pageant, and I bought him tickets to my hometown. This picture was taken after washing sheep for the fair (: Andrew really enjoyed Prosser, and the evil eye is only for taking the picture when we were tired. We were walking around outside when he said, "I like it here. It's kinda like a dream."

 Taking Engagement pictures <3

Flying back to D.C. for Bryan (Andrew's twin) and Emily's wedding! Don't be fooled, I love flying.

 Bryan and Emily's wedding. Fun fact - the heat index was 113 degrees this day!!

The Ft. Bridger Rendezvous with the Peters family :) Piled in the car to go to church.

 My bachelorette party (with Martinelli's)! Don't worry about Andrew, he went with roommates to Disneyland and a beach house without me ;)

 This guy.

Of these fabulous people who were part of our wedding day, 4 have since gotten married, 2 have gone on missions, one went on a study abroad for anatomy in Italy, two had a baby (our favorite nephew!), and one went to dance for Disneyworld. Not to mention the good food and fun game nights since this day <3

Andrew's surprise for my dad at our reception at Wadley Farms. 

We finished our Fall semester married, working 20 hours a week, moved into a beautiful apartment, 

and with all As. It's still a miracle to me.

 Together with the Jacobsons for Christmas and making playing games look gooooood.

Our official honeymoon to Virginia Beach. 

Playing in the snow with a little girl we mentor.

Happily letting rain and colored chalk ruin our clothes. 

 Camping in great places with great friends.

Brealynn and Zach's wedding. The third Jacobson to be wed within 9 months!

Becoming an aunt and uncle, and lovin' on the Brodster.

 Still finding adventures.

The Oakley Rodeo for the 4th of July.

People say "and I love them more every day", but it's a real thing. There have been good days and bad days, and we've miscommunicated and disagreed, like everyone does with their best friends and families. There have been a lot of hugs in exciting times and sad times, and a lot of I love yous and laughs and "it's okay"s. There have been a lot of big adventures, a lot of full days, and a lot of forgiveness before judgement. I'm extremely full of gratitude for all that we have shared since we've met, and since we've been engaged and then married. For some reason it feels a lot more real to me now that we're passing times in the year that were such important milestones to us at this time just a year ago. We don't just get to be married, we get to be married every year, forever. I love my Andrew and always will.

Taking "Being Photogenic" in the Right Light

Some people seem to always look perfect, be it celebrities and models or that girl you pass in the hallways that looks beautiful even in sweats. Then when people take a picture with you in it, sometimes it looks great, and sometimes, it just... doesn't. And a picture of you that you think looks awful can be disheartening.

If you, like me, have taken a least a couple selfies or pictures of people in your life, you have probably noticed this already, but the first time I noticed I thought it was really neat, and I think there are two things we can take from it.

Pictures look a heck of a lot better just with the right lighting. Pictures indoors just look worse than pictures outdoors or by windows with more natural lighting.

I think that's cool. It's a reminder to not take yourself too seriously. If you can't believe that picture of you could possibly look that awful, chances were it was honestly the lighting or the timing. Pictures can catch the in-between looks on your face that we wouldn't notice in normal life, so with both lighting and timing, some pictures of you in this life are just gonna look bad.

This is a reminder to me to also give yourself a break if you think your life looks kinda dismal and unexciting. Because if you took that mediocre-looking life and changed the lighting a little bit, I think you'd find it strikingly beautiful exactly as it was already. You could even play on the fact that "natural" lighting makes such a difference in pictures and wonder if this better perspective of your life is the more "natural" view of a more divine perspective anyway. (:

So don't fret too much about it. No one is perfectly photogenic, and some people take more pictures and are more picky about which ones go places. Maybe your nose does look big from that angle, but people probably don't notice in normal life and it doesn't change who you are. It's okay if you look bad. Sometimes you're gonna look dang good too.

This picture was taken on a normal day of school, after 2 hours of a chemistry lab where I was in goggles and a ponytail. I was going to add a comparison picture, but nah ;)

The Boring Days

I am currently taking summer classes, after taking Fall, Winter, and Spring classes, and before taking more Fall and Winter classes. You'd think it was a lot and awful, but I don't mind. I enjoy being in school and I'm glad that I can be investing my time in my future in a way that works well for my family.

My actual dilemma with summer classes is not what I thought it would be. I was worried I would be burned out, so I signed up for classes that I need to take but that aren't a huge workload. And... I'm bored.

There are a lot of times in life that we feel like we've sunk into the mundane and this is one of my times. My classes aren't captivating, and I have a good job but it's not stretching my intellect or my character very much either. I have found that sometimes "being an adult" and "being in the real/working world" takes a lot of patience, and I understand that. But boring days can still be hard. I've been reflecting on why that is, and what to do about them. This is what I've come up with:

Boring days are hard because you don't feel like we are working towards a greater purpose or becoming better people (even if, like me with my current classes, they are things you need to do to get to future goals). This also means you don't always feel like you have a lot to look forward to each day, and that can be sad.

The best thing to do about it, I have found, is to find adventure. Have at least something bigger you're looking forward to (even if it's just finishing something you are doing now you don't enjoy). And find little adventures in your hobbies and talents. Give yourself something to look forward to and that helps you to work towards a greater purpose and become a better person. Have a goal or a project. This can be anything from organizing a home to reading a book to taking pictures to traveling. Recently I've found each of those specific things to be helpful to me, along with others.

We all fight a boring day now and then. What do you do about it? Do you look for big change or little change? What hobbies or goals help bring purpose or excitement for you? I'd love any ideas.

My Adult Summer Goals

As a child (baha, I'm 19, but I'm still going to go with the phrase), summer didn't only mean no school. It also meant long lists of summer goals. Before I was able to drive or had sufficient money to pay for trips or eating out or even many new things, I had no problem writing line after line of things I wanted to do. Some I did religiously - like organizing my room, which became one of my late-night hobbies, and reading books I had lined up to read, like the Inheritance Series of Eragon books. Others, like making a quilt, I never did complete.

Last summer was spent partially in Europe and then flying across the country between being engaged and seeing Andrew and my families and the Hill Cumorah Pageant. The summer before that I spent volunteering in Peru. It's just this weekend that I realized that this is my first more normal summer, and I want to make another list of summer goals. I'm in summer classes (part of my adventure for this year that I am as grateful for as I was for foreign flights) and wanted to make my first "Adult" (baha again) Summer Goals list, apart from work and classes:

My Adult Summer Goals List 2017

1) Volunteer

2) Create something new

3) Read good books

4) Go on adventures

5) Expand my knowledge of cooking

6) Build on relationships with family and friends

Lest my dad think I'm not making SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Oriented), this is how I am interpreting and planning to put these larger and more poetic goals into my every day life:

1) Volunteer at Wasatch Mental Health (relevant to my career goals to become an Occupational Therapist. This is already in play!! I will attend an orientation meeting July 13th and begin volunteering. My goal is to put in at least 30 hours over the course of this summer and fall in a program focused on children with autism - my dream is to have a pediatric clinic of my own).

2) I'm not positive what I want to do here yet. I am registered for a ceramics class this Fall and am pretty psyched about that. I think this summer this might mean continuing to work on developing the talent I hope I will one day have of taking nice pictures :D I think taking pictures at family functions could help me with Goal #7 as well.

3) I have noticed that I really enjoy having a book I am reading on my own, amid school and work and all that jazz. My church ward has a book club that some really fun women started and I finally picked up this month's book. I'm hoping to try to keep up with the books being read each month.

4) We're blessed to be looking forward to a lot of adventures this summer - two family reunions, a rodeo, visiting family, a little getaway to Seattle, a ziplining tour for my 20th birthday (!!!!!), rafting with Grandpa. I get a lot of joy out of planning and anticipating and having adventures, and after some incredible foreign trips, it is really good for me to see how my adventurous spirit can be extremely happy without airplane flights and bringing back foreign gifts for family (both of which give me quite a kick). I'm hoping to look for more adventure during 'normal' days too, in the little wonderful things - see Goal #5.

5) Andrew and I are both respecters of good food, and not too picky. Neither of us are skilled chefs, and I'm grateful that I'm in a marriage where 1 - my husband doesn't expect me to do all the cooking but sees it as a team effort, 2 - my husband doesn't scold me for my limited knowledge of elaborate recipes but works with me to find meals we are happy with and always thanks me when I have made dinner and tells me it tastes great. I want to try new recipes but not bite off more than I can chew ;) My goal is to pick a new recipe and add all the ingredients to the grocery list so every time we go grocery shopping we get stuff for a new recipe. I'm pretty motivated to make new things with a recipe if we have all the ingredients on a Sunday afternoon.

6) I love my family and friends. I want them to know this, especially because on most days we don't see so many of the people we love. I want to regularly reach out to a family member and a friend, via text or phone call. I'm not sure what regularly means to me yet, but I'm going to start with once a day and adjust if that isn't working down the road.

Goals help me to be happy in a lot of ways. I get to look forward to doing or accomplishing something, which in itself brings happiness. Goals prove to me that I am doing what I want to do. In just creating this list, I realized how many things I am already doing and working toward (the planned adventures, figuring out volunteering, registering for the ceramics class) are helping me to enjoy now, improve relationships, and prepare for the future, and that was really neat for me to see. Goals show me that I can improve and can use something that might bring guilt or I might see as a weakness (like cooking as a pretty non-personal example). Goals give me motivation, and someone to be accountable to, if only to myself.

I'm excited about my summer goals, and I'll be sure to report at the end of the summer before Fall semester begins!

Passing on Advice From... Mom and Dad. A Tribute to Family.

It has really been impressed upon me lately how important family is to life. It has become a clear truth to me in my life that family (immediate family, extended family, joining a new family, and creating a small new family of my own with Andrew) brings the greatest personal refinements and the most happiness to me in my life.

(This is my extended family - just the ones who could make it to a random wedding in November.)

If I didn't have family, I would be able to do a lot more of what I want to do. I could improve on some talents or develop new ones more than I do now. But I don't think indulging in those things selfishly could possibly make me as happy as I am spending time with people I love and sharing what I do learn and the successes I have when I have them. With family, I have learned that I am not entitled to everything, that people are the most important thing, what service really means, how I can be a teacher, student and friend all at once, and what is really important in life. What really lasts.

With that, I want to share some things I have learned from my parents.

Dad has taught me that I am more important than a problem. I have backed into his car, flooded the basement, and found myself in a mess of broken metal or irrigation water more than once. Any time I had made a clear mistake that had very real consequences, going to dad usually didn't mean you were in for a lecture. Dad listened to the situation and accepted it, came and helped whenever I needed help even if he was pretty upset and it was really inconvenient for him (he can still fix most anything...) and calmly gave me the tools and support to fix what I had done, knowing it was good for me to acknowledge and accept the consequences and work to fix the situation. He taught me forgiveness.

Mom taught me that loving people is always the right answer, and you should give when you can. She supported me with time and gas money like crazy. When I has an event to attend in Seattle the same day as a competition 3 hours away at home in Prosser and I realized my mistake in planning... she drove to Seattle and back so I could do both. She got me out of class in high school so I could do homework for another class. No matter how late it was or what I was unreasonably upset about (often accentuated by the fact I was tired), she would listen to me and talk to me until I felt better. I once called her on Easter Sunday at 1 in the morning with a new situation that worried me not even knowing if she would be awake and not remembering it was Easter, and she was there for me then too. She once helped Alana with a hard day of school, picking her up and taking her out... only for Alana to realize later that that day was my mom's birthday. Her first instinct is to give, and she has made having faith in a God who is always there for me make sense, because I had a parent who was always there for me already. She is an incredible voice of love and reason for our family, for her family, and for her friends. She taught me dependability and love.

Dad taught me that sometimes you just have to work, and that the service that is inconvenient and not glorious is the most real service. From cold fingers fixing fence on a clear winter night to getting up Saturday morning for a family project to telling us we were going to help a family move and staying until it was too dark to continue, he taught this by word and example. I found that you can find real joy in the work, and that rest is much more fulfilling afterward. He taught me the real value of work and the real meaning of service.

Mom taught me the joys of raising children and having a family. Even when I saw how tired or frustrated she was at times, she loved her family. She taught me you don't always have to make extravagant dinners or a spotless house to be a good Mom, and I saw through hearing others talk about my mom how often people really do see past those things and what a blessing your time and love can be to the lives of others. She taught me charity.

They taught me the simple joy of playing with kids and eating good snacks, but that it's also okay to not have to be a jungle gym all the time (: That you can solve a problem with a laugh.They taught me the value of good conversations. How wonderful it is to be outside and how much joy you can find in simple things. The importance of being a good Christian before I was a good Mormon. They taught me I don't need much to be happy. They taught me the importance of being kind.

They showed me that even as an imperfect person, you can teach principles and give love in a way that comes across perfectly. They taught me that it is never an option to give up on family, and that it's always an option to let something go. That it's good to have fun and that time together is valuable.

I am so grateful for an proud of my imperfect family and am so grateful that they love and are proud of me. It is such a wonderful growing experience to be expanding my family as I joined Andrew's, adding new personalities, opinions, and traditions and realizing that there is always room for more love and that different ideas are okay way more often than not. I learned how amazing it is that someone can love you before they even know you.

I have learned with my family now with Andrew the value of trusting a person's love for you as you are honest about different ideas or situations that you are unhappy with. I have felt the joy of learning together and developing the habits we want individually and as a couple. I have enjoyed recognizing our differences and approaching them with a laugh, and finding a plan when we need a way to bring them together.

I have felt the joy of giving and of receiving, and how important it is to do both. I have remembered once again that if I had to give everything I wanted and loved up one at a time, all my dreams and plans and hopes for the future, the one thing I couldn't give up is family. And I feel so blessed that through long days and little misunderstandings and time apart, all of my families love me, and I am able to have them AND the hopes and dreams I have for my schooling, career, and talents for myself and for my family. I am so spoiled to get to work toward those things in such a blessed and wonderful time of life right now, that is exciting because of where we are going, but also exciting because of where we are right now.

If my writing this on the Monday of a week with three tests and only a few weeks from finals doesn't show how true it is to me, I don't know what will. Family, or those kinds of relationships and friendships, are always worth it.