Passing on Advice... from Molly

I am a huge fan of Humans of New York, and other people and organizations that highlight real people and little things in life (that are really the big things in life) that show uniqueness and strength. I want to highlight lessons I learn from people around me through this blog in short posts now and then, and call it "Passing on Advice", whether this be advice given in word or through action and example. I first want to highlight someone who seems to make my life better in every way - my little sister Molly.

 I want to highlight two little things I've learned from her lately. This Christmas, Molly taught me the beauty of pure giving and receiving. She gave everyone in our family a gift when she didn't have to, and though simple they were thoughtful and kind. She sent me and Andrew cookies here in Virginia, and not only were they really good cookies, she wrote us two notes and made us a little ornament with a picture of us that she drew. She gave the best that she had because giving made her happy.

And second, whenever I am lacking motivation in my studies at college, I call Molly. Calling my mom or my dad or my other siblings is fun and makes me happy and puts things in perspective too, but Molly's sunshine comes through the phone and makes me happy no matter what. There's something in that that I just love so much. Asking Molly's advice helps me remember everything's going to be okay. Asking her opinion, like when I used to ask who my prince should be and give her options, makes me laugh. And talking to her and spending time with her makes her so happy. 

(Skyping Molly from Spain this past spring.)

 Somehow it goes both ways too. Because I was excited for Andrew to come visit our family over the summer, she somehow became even more excited than me. 

I hope we'll always be such good friends, and that I can grow to be a little more like Molly.

The Value of Adventure

Growing up I was the designated family "adventure leader". I remember this title being applied when we went on weekend family camping trips in Palo Duro Canyon and I always wanted to explore "over there" or try climbing "that wall" despite the fact that I was 6 or 7 at the time and the biggest thing that made me an adventurer was that I believed it about myself.

That spirit of adventure and challenge never really left me. I think it exists in everyone. Everyone has that one thing that seems to them like if they could do that they would really have made it. That place they want to go. That goal they want to achieve.

I think I realize now that the value of that spirit of challenge and adventure lies in expanding what you believe about yourself. What you believe you can do. That you see yourself as someone who is doing everything that they want to do. You can do that wherever you are. You can do that living your whole life within the same 20 mile radius. But you have to live it for you. In high school I thought I would have made it in life if I was happily married, doing well in school, happy with what I was learning and doing on a daily basis and had traveled out of the country, maybe even to Europe. Now all of that is true a year and a half later. I did a humanitarian program in Peru with my older sister Alana the summer after I graduated from high school (June 11-August 11, 2015), and this past spring I studied abroad in Spain through BYU, and took advantage of some friends and a couple weeks before the program started to travel to Ireland and England (April 21-June 17, 2016).

Sunrise over the Andes at Machu Picchu 

Water balloon fight with the kids in our after school program for my birthday, 

Eagle Condor Humanitarian Service, Cajamarca Peru.

 Huanchaco Bay, Trujillo, Peru.

Blarney Castle, Ireland.

Tower Bridge, London

And the House of Parliament with Big Ben.

La Mesquita de Cordoba, Spain.

And it's not because I'm so cool. It's all still a miracle to me. I'm starting to think that it's mostly just because when the opportunities came, I accepted them and showed up. But they have expanded my view and changed my perspective so much already. It has made me more grateful for America but has left pieces of my heart outside the US at the same time. The experiences I have had have expanded my mind and my heart, and have helped me prove to myself that I can do whatever I want to do and can go wherever I want to go if I prioritize it and put my mind to it in my life.

Goofing around at lunch.

 That one day we went to France during an excursion from Spain and couldn't communicate with anybody but a lady from the Dominican Republic in a chocolate store.

Not all adventures are important. Life has a fun way of more or less completely changing your perspective every 2 years or so. But this was one big perspective change that happened to me. I felt like I had to make it in life. That I had to get straight A's in high school and college. I had to be the first and the best. The most experienced, the most daring, the most adventurous, even the most humble (because that goal makes so much sense). But the greatest adventures in life, I think now, aren't the end goals, but the little things along the way that make memories, no matter what stage of life or where you are.

 Like buying the whole shelf of 99 cent shaving cream for your graduation party and then discovering what it feels like to wash it out of your hair.

Or climbing on top of an ancient ruin in Peru when you're in the middle of the mountains and you're not going to hurt it. Featuring my flea-bitten legs.

 Like it raining when you're exploring a park in London.

 Or a bird pooping on your bag when shopping in Barcelona.

Or fitting... that many people in a car when going to church in these clothes while camping with grandpa at the Fort Bridger Rendezvous over a weekend in college.

Adventures don't have to be travelling to new countries. They can be walking down new trails, or taking new classes, or going new places or doing new activities (whether you are good at it or not) or eating new foods or meeting new people, or having new experiences with people you've already met.

Calamari sandwich!

 Sleeping on the roof (:

 Walking a trail with my sisters in law (and that other guy) over Christmas bre.

A Chinese Lantern Festival that turned out to be a lit-up zoo...

You can find whatever adventures you want, that no matter their complexity or simplicity or if you have to change your views and your plans a few times, expand your world a little and what you believe about yourself. Sometimes adventures come of their own accord in the form of new situations that are hard and require you to grow and sacrifice. But guess what? If you're growing, you're making it. And then you can find a new adventure.

Like these kids in Pulyucana, Peru who spent the afternoon sliding down this cement incline on water bottles. I guess they knew all of this all along.

Beginnings

I have had thoughts about creating a blog since I came to college. I see so much value in insights and real life experiences. Some things are good to laugh about, and sometimes it is neat to open things up to discussion. There is value in sharing important things to you with others. So as I am on winter break from BYU and newly married, I thought maybe my blog could have its beginning as I have some new beginnings of my own.

So as an introduction, here is me:

I turned 19 this summer and just finished my third semester in a Neuroscience undergrad at Brigham Young University. I love my school and my friends and what I study. Most of my life I grew up in Prosser, Washington after moving there at age 8, and I am proud of my small town blood and welcomes home. At school I found something I love more than anything before.

His name is Andrew, and now we share a last name. We were married November 19, 2016. Part of the point of this blog is trying to better learn about life and loving others, because I have come to see how vital that is in life. Among all the modern technologies and travels and adventures, when it really comes down to it the moments that matter most to people aren't their successes but their happy relationships with others. This boy has sure taught me a lot about that. Christ like love makes all the difference in a person's life.

This is our family.

Sometimes I think I am great at insights and sometimes I am honestly really bad, but I wanted to put more than just some pretty pictures here even as I just begin. So here are some things I have thought about that I believe have really helped me get where I am in life now, and some of my goals moving forward.

Sometimes I already feel like one of those old ladies in a nursing home who seems so kind and wise but when asked what advice she has, she said something like, "Oh, sonny, good luck. I don't have any advice." Sometimes I feel pretty lost not just at where I am going but how I got where I am. A few things are certainly consistent though - people believed in me, I chose faith, I followed through on things I new would be beneficial to me, and I didn't give up. These people believed in me quite a bit.

They're my parents (: I have learned a lot from them how imperfections in practice can melt away in perfection of purpose. I don't know how exactly what the parents most want their children to learn somehow gets communicated to them perfectly, and parents sure don't see it as they are frustrated with the impossible curveballs parenthood throws, but it does. That sure gives me hope for the future. I can guarantee I will share some advice from my parents, whether in word or example, because they have changed me by who they are. They love and support me and believe in me, and I know that in that regard I am already extremely lucky and so very blessed.

Somehow I am extremely blessed not only in the family department when it comes to people. My dad gave us simple advice in making friends growing up saying to say hi to others in the hallway and call them by name, and Dale Carnegie gives good advice in saying you will make more friends in 2 weeks being interested in other people than you will in 2 months trying to get people interested in you. Those things are great to know and work, but they work best because they change you and lead you to the real point - when you care about other people, they care about you too. I am repeatedly blown away that my imperfections in serving and loving others and thinking outside of myself turn into this. And in harder times, the love people have for you will really blow you away. I love how it works in college too, how we're all so busy and live such full lives, but when you somehow decide that you like living full lives better together and talking and studying and going on double dates, that both happinesses and saddnesses become better. You can celebrate good days and laugh about bad ones. People make life so much better it's crazy. They don't have to be many, they just have to be there.

I love my Savior. I had a real crisis of faith my senior year in high school (believe it or not to those of you who knew me then, haha), but through my prayers and frustrations, I still can't deny that my Savior lives. There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon where Nephi says that he does not know all things, but he knows that God loves his children, and I couldn't say it better myself. God has to live because I can feel him live in me. Everything is too beautiful for it not to be true. You can count on me expanding on my thoughts on faith for sure, but if nothing else, I know that choosing faith has made me the happiest and best person I have ever been, and maybe that can speak for itself.

Another scripture says to be anxiously engaged in good works. My daddy told me to always be working toward a worthwhile goal. College carries with it several inherent goals of trying to do your best in your classes and still keep yourself mentally and physically and emotionally healthy. 

At the end of a semester and after the huge goals of getting married and finishing finals and moving into our apartment are past, I have a chance to reevaluate my own goals. Something that has really changed my perspective lately has been the distinct impression, among everything going on, to be confident in the righteous (or you could say worthwhile if not wanting to look at this from a religious perspective) efforts you make. We sometimes put our value in the end point when the real growing happens in the process and we forget to step back and be proud of that.

Though highly imperfect and full of quirks that have a tendency to just come out because I don't care enough to hide them, my faith, my family, my friends, and continuing to put forth good efforts have done so much to get me where I am now. I'm excited for the new adventures and experiences I have ahead of me moving forward. And I am looking forward to sharing some of them and the things I learn with you through this blog - Learning to Love (: