End of Summer Goals

As summer is coming to a close, I wanted to reflect on my "Adult Summer Goals" as promised. Some things were easier than expected, others were much harder, and in both cases I learned a lot. Here were the goals I had made:

1) Volunteer

2) Create something new

3) Read good books

4) Go on adventures

5) Expand my knowledge of cooking

6) Build on relationships with family and friends

I want to reflect briefly on each goal in turn, saying things I did or didn't do, and what I learned from the experience.

1 - Volunteer

This was the goal I was most excited about from the beginning of the summer, and it went differently than I expected. I was ready to fit Volunteering in my schedule when summer term started mid June, so I called Wasatch Mental Health about becoming a Volunteer because you have to attend a Volunteer Orientation meeting. I learned about the orientation meeting was the next day and I didn't have enough time to rearrange my schedule, so I planned to attend the next one mid July. Mid July came and I enjoyed Volunteer Orientation, and became increasingly excited about the program I wanted most to volunteer with - Giant Steps, a preschool type program for children with Autism. I called the director of this program and found they weren't really in need of volunteers at the time. They said they would be in need of volunteers come September when the school year started though - so I planned on that and chose a different program to volunteer with until September. The first time I went to volunteer with the second program I chose to volunteer with, I found it to be a wonderful program with wonderful people and staff, but that I wasn't really needed at the time that worked in my schedule by that time in the summer and I didn't find the experience as fulfilling as I had hoped. I finally determined to just wait until September to contact Giant Steps again and volunteer with them during the Fall semester. 

2 - Create something new

This goal didn't go stupendously either (some of them did! Sorry these two come first, haha). I can't think of a single thing that I really created new. But there were things that I continued creating, and I'm glad I focused my efforts there. I continued writing in my Journal and making blog posts, and I continued learning how to take pictures. These three things are important to me in recording memories and things I learn, and they are beneficial to my mental and emotional health. It is SO fun to take pictures of little kids too, you guys. Oh man. I have the fun opportunity of a ceramics class coming up this Fall Semester as well, and I'm stoked for that.

3 - Read good books

I began the summer having finished two great books - The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell and Crucial Conversations - over the spring term, and I was really enjoying the mental revitalization that reading brings. I must admit I was a little worried when I made this goal that I wouldn't have good books to read or that I would phase out of enjoying reading. I read the Happiness Project with a book club, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (borrowed from a neighbor), and then asked people I thought would have similar tastes in books to me what some of the best books they have read are. I bought books from Amazon and lined them up on our shelf. I read Freakenomics in two weeks as we finished finals, and I finished that book really wanting to get some sort of Economics for Dummies book or sit in on Economics lectures. I brought Blink and Mere Christianity with us to Washington for our two week summer break, and I have been reading Blink with Andrew as we drive after we finished his childhood favorite on CD (borrowed from his sister) Chickens in the Headlights (followed by Bullies in the Headlights). I'm beginning to think I'll only phase out of enjoying reading if I don't have books I am excited to read. And I consider it a worthwhile investment to have exciting books for me, Andrew and our kids (:

4 - Go on adventures

I enjoy both the planning and the execution of adventures. We were working and taking classes, but we had some really fun adventures planned, and I enjoyed having those to look forward to. We looked up little hikes to waterfalls near Provo and went on a whole one of them, but have a list of possibilities for future weekend hikes amid school too (: We continued our French Fry Friday tradition and that has proven a fun mini-adventure for us outside of the house and often away from campus each week. We chose and planned for things we really wanted to do - go to Seattle together, hike Eagle Creek in Oregon, and have a fun adventure for my birthday (a ziplining tour!) and went on those adventures. I'm grateful for Andrew's support and excitement with me. An adventure plan often starts with me picking something I think fits well in our calendar and budget and saying, "Hey, can we...?" And he has never said no, so we think about a good place in the calendar and put it in. Visiting family, school, and work are in themselves great adventures, are things like reading books and for us, playing Horizon Zero Dawn on the PS4 we bought this summer. I just happen to be a person that enjoys outdoor adventures too. I asked Andrew if we could go to Yellowstone over Thanksgiving break, and what do you know - it's now in the calendar.

5 - Expand my knowledge of cooking.

I laughed the other day realizing that the most knowledgeable chef in our home is google, but we have become quite good at following recipes! I made cherry limeade, fruit pizza, peach cobbler, chicken fajitas, and onion rings. My husband (who I don't force to do these things, I promise, he just enjoys picking up on things I enjoy like reading books and trying new recipes I guess. He's quite the guy) made a new potato soup, a cream cheese chocolate crumble sort of dessert and headed up the making of onion rings. In "The Happiness Project", it talked about increasing our happiness by 1) doing more of things that make us happy, and 2) being aware of things that don't make us happy, and doing less of them or taking care of them. A good example of the second point would be finishing tasks we have been avoiding for a long time, because they take away from our happiness. Trying new recipes this summer has been a way of me tackling something that I wish I was better at - cooking - and feeling less of that small guilt/fear, and replacing it with fun grocery trips, time with my hubby in the kitchen, and good food. (I do want to say that the guilt I can feel about being a mediocre cook is entirely me. Andrew has been clear that he doesn't expect me to be the best cook, because he's not, and we can figure out good and simple meals together, which we have, and which has been great for us. I do feel a lot of satisfaction in making good food, and wanted to be able to make more of it.) Check it out!! I started doing one recipe a week, and though I didn't stick with one a week, continuing new foods came naturally as we had Sunday afternoons of time and wanted to make grocery shopping and dinners a little more fun.

6 - Build on relationships with family and friends

My best friend Brinnley is currently serving a mission in Georgia, and I emailed her every week with updates on us and pictures. I think I could say my friendship with her has increased with her time there, and that I something that I am proud of. I must admit emailing her comes really naturally because of our friendship that has spanned over 10 years. I have enjoyed writing to my in-laws on missions as well, Aubrey and Daniel, and am excited about staying in better contact with them. Andrew and I have prioritized family in scheduling our year, and I'm grateful for that. We continue to enjoy spending time with friends through ward activities, our Group FHE every other Monday, and inviting couples over for dinners or games - another motivation for food creations and adding to our game pile. When with my family in Washington, I started getting ideas for Christmas presents (because that is something that makes me happy), and we're excited to spend our Winter holiday with both our families (Peters for Christmas and a Jacobson Family Reunion!). Time with friends is different when you're married and not surrounded by several roommates at any given point in time, but I am both content and grateful for the time we have spent with friends and family. Andrew's sister and my sister both live nearby with their husbands, and we have been able to do fun things with both of them this summer. When driving to Seattle and Portland, we stopped by extended families' houses and stayed with one of Andrew's closest friends and his family. We are truly spoiled with great people.

Now I have the opportunity to make "End of Summer" Goals (I'm proud of the multiple meanings of the title of this post). Don't worry, I don't plan to make another post or another follow-up on goals for a while. The important thing isn't the list of activities completed or pictures of things done or created, but the progress. Progress makes us happy and gives us something to live for, work hard for, and look forward to. Reflection can help us realize successes, some of which we may not have considered successes at the time College is a time that presents obvious opportunities for progress in classes and work opportunities, but so does family and friends, and fun talents or new experiences. We aren't limited by our age or life situation. There's always something to learn and something fun to do. I hope I can always find a lot of progress no matter what my resume looks like (: Life is good!

Traditions

Leaving home for work, schooling, or other reasons gives an individual many different opportunities. One of the less obvious of these opportunities is the chance to reflect on your own family and how you want to keep or change things about how you were raised for the rest of your life and a potential future family.

Many family and marriage books talk about traditions as a valuable tool for tying a family together. They can also be times to reinforce important family values, such as reading the Christmas story around Christmas time. 

Making traditions happen requires effort, especially from the adults/parents involved. I'm grateful for these efforts made in the traditions of our families. I personally think there are two kinds of best traditions - the ones that reinforce important values in a solemn way, and those that are completely ridiculous to everyone else but totally awesome to you. I know those are two extremes, but man both are so cool.

With that in mind, here are some of our family traditions that I want to put in the effort to keep in my family, because they have strengthened my relationship to family members and I know it can continue to do so, as well as strengthen the love and memories in Andrew and my little family.

Hug pictures on birthdays. I think this started from a "silly picture" idea one year, but now they're my favorite. If you don't think you're loved, too bad. There's proof! Even when not everyone is happy and it doesn't work out the greatest, because... family pictures.

We have a similar "hug picture" on our wedding day, and it makes my heart happy.

Family pictures once a year. Andrew and I came up with this one ourselves. We don't have kids yet, but we do want to continue investing in remembering us and our family as it does grow, because our family is important to us, and pictures are really valuable to me. We'll see if we really stick to this one, but we're going to try!

Special dinners. The Peters have "Cranberry Ice" with Thanksgiving and the Jacobsons have Shirley Temples Christmas Eve, and I like delicious drinks! The Jacobsons have a special tomato soup for Christmas Eve and I don't love tomato soup, and the Peters have Clam Chowder and Andrew doesn't love Clam Chowder, so we'll likely find something we both really like (:

The Hill Cumorah Pageant. The Hill Cumorah Pageant was as much a home to Andrew's family as any of their houses were as a military family. They have been a part of the cast for 6-9*** years, and it is always a meaningful spiritual and family experience for them. When Andrew and I were dating, I realized he was welcoming me into his family when he asked if I would want to join them for pageant that next summer. We weren't able to make it this summer, and might not be able to make it next summer either, but we are excited to be able to fly out to see it and his family there when we can, and to be in the cast together one day.

 

Family reunions. These can be tricky.

 They require a lot of effort to plan and coordinate, and are investments for people getting together. It's different for every family, but some of my favorite reunion experiences have been going fun places together (like a pool or a big park), family Olympic Games, Talent Shows, White Elephant Gift Exchanges, and my grandma's notorious Favorite Child Award for her kids (and our parents), which has been a trophy/medallion/wrestling belt/royal robe, and the process of which is different every year, from family campaigning to a name drawn out of a hat to grandkids voting on the funniest Mad Libs.

 It doesn't work for every family, but man is it hilarious in ours.

Gifts to Jesus. At the beginning of December at a Family Home Evening, we choose gifts to Jesus and tie a ribbon on the Christmas tree to represent and remind us of our gift. It could be being kinder to someone, improving a habit, serving someone, or whatever effort you feel like you could give to Christ that month. We talk later in the month about what our gifts to Jesus were, if we want to share, and how they went. This has been meaningful to me as I grew and helped me to remember Christ and turn outwards during the Christmas season. I love other families' traditions of adopting families for Christmas, and I might tie those together somehow with our kids some day. 

Lighting candles for the names of Christ. Christmas is probably the most tradition-rich time of year, so it's no surprise that many of my personal favorite traditions are Christmas ones. The Jacobsons have a Christmas tradition of lighting one large center candle for the name "Jesus Christ", and then several each person lights one tea light around the center candle for another name of Christ until we consult the Bible Dictionary/Topical Guide and eventually run out of names. The words that represent of what Christ is for us and the metaphor of him being our light is really powerful. I happen to only have a video of Bryan (Andrew's twin) blowing out the candles this past year, so here you go:

My siblings all sleep in the same room Christmas Eve and we tell funny stories or watch a movie in the basement as we go to sleep. We switched through my siblings bedrooms, the living rooms, and even the hallway, and now mostly sleep in the basement because it is big enough to hold all of us and our spouses. It's so fun to be together and share the anticipation of Christmas Day.

The Brother's hike. My dad and his brothers like camping and hiking, and have gotten together pretty regularly during the summers to go hiking together. As the brothers' kids grew, they got to start coming too. I really enjoy these times of being away and into nature. You really talk to and enjoy each other and can have pretty funny log-raft building or freezing lake-jumping experiences. Now and then someone will start singing a hymn around the campfire or while walking and the others will join in, and those have been really memorable and sacred experiences for me. Imagine how happy I was that Andrew really enjoyed our mini-brothers-hike last year and was asking my uncles at our family reunion if we would have one this year (:

Traditions don't have to be big things, though those can be really fun. The little things are just as important, if not more so. You usually don't realize just how many traditions you have. Going to Church every Sunday, or having family game/movie nights or family/couple walks are all things that have meant a lot to me. It's so cool to be in time where I am more obviously deciding and creating my own life and my life with my husband, but we all make these decisions every day. Making new goals, picking new aspirations, or adding a new tradition is just all part of the fun. What traditions mean a lot to you?