Reflections of a Neuroscience Major

I recently finished a Neuroscience major at Brigham Young University. And oh my goodness, you guys. I found my thing. At least my undergraduate thing. I'm still excited and adamant about pursuing a Masters Degree in Occupational Therapy, but if I had multiple lives, I'd love to also be a researching Neuroscientist, and a Biochemical Engineer, and a Doctor... There is so much cool stuff to learn in this world.

Neuroscience is a hot topic in the world today, and my major has something of a "wow" factor to those I meet. I think people are curious and intimidated about the subject, and I thought I could try to satiate some of that curiosity and lessen that intimidation. I also think it adds so much to all our lives when we record and share what we learn when we can, so this is also an effort for me to do that. I personally wish I could see the personal reflections of History Majors, English Majors, German Majors, Human Development Majors, and all you other majors - and workers, and parents, and friends. There is so much we can learn from each other, and I hope there is something here I can share that can be enjoyable for you to learn.

A large purkinje neuron of the cerebellum between the molecular and granular layers - a picture I took using a microscope in class!

So, here goes. Things I learned from my undergraduate experience:

Your body is a miracle

Another human body was created in my body this past year. We all know a little about how that works, but the more I learned, the more in awe I became. The baby itself is what signals the mother's body to be a good environment for it to grow. The baby creates the intricate nourishing mechanism that is the placenta. Within this environment, the baby is a single layer of cells, and then three. A signal from the second layer signals part of the top layer (the ectoderm) to become the brain and not - wait for it - skin! Neurons are born near the ventricles and then migrate outward, forming the layers of the cortex, and a complex combination of signals released in gradients from specific directions help each cell know what it should become. Signals released from neural progenitor cells interact with neighboring cells to help them know if they should become neurons or the supporting glial cells. All of this - and SO much more - happens without the conscious decision of the mother or the baby. The baby's cells basically create itself - the most complicated, evolutionarily advanced being on the planet. This is a being that is able to think for itself and can choose someday to study for years to try to find out how its brain is able to think so efficiently and effectively as it does. The evolution that led to that kind of a being and the ability for simple cells to create such amazing life so beautifully and with relatively few mistakes when there is SO much that could go wrong, is an absolute miracle to me. I know that my body helped to sustain the life of our beautiful Charlie as she grew, but I feel like the more I learn, the more I believe it was really God who created her - or orchestrated her creation to be able to be so wonderfully perfect - and not me.

On a similar note, I have also become really grateful for homeostasis. That my body is able to balance all its complex systems in different environments so effectively is amazing! Not to mention the fact that molecules like hormones can be used in our brains and our bodies and trigger receptors on very different organs and that the same neurotransmitters can trigger very different effects in different neurons of the brain and all this is happening seamlessly without our awareness. It's incredible.

How to be a happy old person

Human development, psychology, and behavioral neuroscience classes all touched on aging and what makes people more likely to be happy or more or less likely to have neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer's Disease. I found these insights fascinating, because I feel like as we are trying to get the most out of life and live it to its fullest, we should all aspire to be happy old people. These classes, as well as comments from wonderful TED talks and insightful people, all came back to the same patterns. I have mentally noted these patterns as a recipe to help me become a happy old person (not to mention a happy any-age person in the process): meaningful relationships, activities, and learning. Having healthy and meaningful relationships, even with only a handful of people, does wonders for your mental, emotional, and physical health. They can improve mood and perspective and help people be happier no matter their physical condition. "Activity theory" in psychology is the idea that when the elderly are engaged in activities that are meaningful to them (volunteering, being involved in the community, visiting family, traveling, bingo night - all sorts of things) it adds to their meaning and purpose. These activities are often inextricably intertwined (those are actually the words that came to mind there - how fun!) with social groups, and they can also play a role in the last ingredient to my happy-old-person recipe: learning. While doing or not doing a crossword puzzle a day may not tip the scale between you developing or not developing Alzheimer's Disease, doing something new and exercising our brains works wonders, and can potentially be protective against neurodegenerative diseases. The notion that you "inevitably" lose your memory with age is mostly not true, and your brain - like an ax - can serve you well as you continue to use it as a tool and keep it sharp. You can learn new things at any age, and doing so helps you be healthier and happier.

You're not cursed to be clumsy, forgetful, or bad at cooking

While growing up, there were times I felt I was incurably clumsy, forgetful, or bad at cooking. It is so tempting to accept that something is "just the way I am" and we'll just have to work around it. But that is simply not how our brains work. In fact, when we think we think we are stuck in a habit, our brains and bodies are more likely to accept it. There is a big difference between focusing on what we do and who we are. I have seen this again and again - in the "Super Brain" book (that I will mention again later), in "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown, and in effective and positive parenting strategies like those taught by @simplyonpurpose. When we tell a child (or ourselves) they are forgetful, it is reinforced to them and their brains may feel resigned to that fate. However, when we say they have forgotten something and should think about what they can do next time, the power of the brain is harnessed to help with learning. Just like we aren't inevitably forgetful in old age, "Mom brain" and "pregnancy brain" aren't inevitable either. No one is inevitably resigned to be bad at something (with the possible exception of diagnosed disabilities). Our life circumstances may change drastically and give us more to think about, but we are still people who forget sometimes and not forgetful people. This idea has been really empowering to me. I didn't feel resigned to doing worse in school when pregnant and when I had a baby, and I honestly did very well in school. I don't feel like I will be inevitably worse in graduate school, though it may be the challenge of a lifetime. I don't feel clumsy or forgetful or bad at cooking anymore. I have chosen to work on those things, and on the occasion that I do forget something or the kitchen is a little smoky, I can laugh and know I can try again. Forgetfulness and clumsiness and "not being able to draw" (or do any skill) are not medical diagnoses and are things we very much have control over and can change if they are important to us.

Memory Strategies

My Cognition class this last semester talked in depth about various memory strategies that can help us improve our memory and be more likely to remember something. These were such fun and useful things to learn. When wanting to remember something, deep processing is better for your memory than shallow processing. For example, thinking about why the uncertainty principle in Chemistry is important will probably help you remember it better than simply trying to memorize what it is. Deep processing can include elaboration (connecting it to other ideas and things you have learned before and learning more about it) and distinctiveness (thinking about how it is different from other things you have learned and what makes it unique. Similarly, testing yourself and making yourself recall information (like flashcards where you can only see one side and have to fill in the answer) is more effective than repetition and recognition (like scanning over a page of notes and feeling like it is familiar so you should be okay). Visual imagery can be a powerful memory technique. Creating a vivid picture is a powerful way to elaborate on an idea or remember it. I have personally found this really useful for trying to remember lists without writing them down and referring to them (which I don't do often, but is a good exercise). Organizing the information (especially when it should be in a certain order) in a hierarchy/chart or in a vivid narrative story can be powerful as well. This is where the "mind palace" idea from Sherlock Holmes comes into play (:

Interestingly, we also talked about external memory aids in this class - like a calendar, a phone, and lists when necessary. Learning about strategies like these gave me insight into how I worked to remember different things in my life. Personally, if I need to remember something for a short amount of time, I simply rehearse it in my head and practice testing myself for recall as many times as I can (not the most effective strategy for long-term retention, but effective in the short term). For learning in classes, I try to process the information I learn deeply so it sinks in and feels like it makes sense rather than is a list of things I need to remember. When I do need to memorize things to fill in the gaps of my learning, or when trying to remember something specific in a daily setting like a name, a street name, or something I need to remember to do in the future, I use visual imagery or (for daily remembering) an external memory aid. I loved thinking more about how I think, and thinking about how I can improve my retention in the future.

Scientific Literature and Critical Thinking

One of the "scariest" but most important things I learned in my undergraduate education was to become familiar with scientific literature. I went from feeling the dread of having to read through a paper and try to dissect out its meaning to being assigned a research paper for a class like Sociology or General Psychology and including way more than the required three references to peer-reviewed articles. Scientific literature can be dense and confusing, but it is powerful, and you usually don't have to really understand every nuance of the procedure. Having somewhere like Google Scholar (scholar.google.com) where you can go and find sources that have been vetted for validity and reliability is empowering. You have so much good knowledge at your fingertips. If you want to know more about how the brain works, you can probably learn more than I know by reading articles like these in your spare time. The Google Scholar database includes many of the very articles my capstone Neuro 481 (Advanced Neuroscience) class read through, such as this one on depression and dendritic spines or this one (one of my very favorites) on how oxytocin (or social bonding) helps lessen the stress response.

We live in a day where saying anything along with the words "research shows" or "studies show" gives you immediate credibility. That is both wonderful and scary. It is wonderful to have this research and be using it to improve knowledge and actions, but it is scary to feel like you always have to conform to what someone is telling you when "research says...". You don't have to feel that way! You can always look into it yourself, and you really should when you can - especially when regarding an issue that is important to you. You can go to Google Scholar and type in anything you are interested in (I usually start with a word like "parenting" or "autism" because those always spark my interest).

It is also important to be careful with what some articles claim. While people work very hard on research and usually have the best intentions, not all studies are repeatable with the same results. Other studies can be attractive by showing significant effects, but not all those significant effects are clinically useful or significant in real life. (For example, one article my Neuro 481 class read showed significantly more regrowth in a spinal cord after injury when certain receptors were inhibited, but this significant growth amounted to .04 more axons per animal in the severed tract of the spine, and extending only 2500 microns or so down the spine past the lesion.) Statistical significance is important, but the usefulness of that information in life is really what we are looking for. I owe a wonderful professor (Mike Brown) credit for reminding us students of that.

It's all in an ion channel

Chances are that you, like me, learned in some entry-level science class or kitchen-table experiment that when there is a hole in a membrane and more of something (like food coloring) on one side, it will flow down its concentration gradient until both sides of the membrane have equal concentrations. Replace that food coloring with charged particles (ions), and this is kind of how the neurons of your brain work! The neurons of your brain have channels for sodium, calcium, chloride, and potassium ions, and when these channels are open, the ions flow through the channels according to their concentration gradients until that concentration gradient is exactly balanced out by a competing electrical gradient (because they're charged particles). The proper regulation of these ion channels helps you do all the thinking and moving you please. Too much stimulation of channels, too little, or improper closing of the channels can lead to things like epilepsy, the inhibiting effects of alcohol, or the euphoria of other drugs. Neurotransmitters come into play in between the neurons to help them communicate with each other and open and close the proper ion channels on their membranes. The actual flow of these ions - which are charged - is what makes up the electricity of our brains that can be picked up by things like an EEG.

To be fair, there are other complications, but the fact that something as simple as ion channels working together has such a big effect is pretty cool to me. Sodium channels are the main excitation channels, and some sea creatures can use these channels to cause such strong ionic currents inside their bodies that it causes other creatures outside of them to get shocked. That blows my mind. Blocking these sodium channels are what allow us to be numbed by epidurals or lidocaine shots (and I'm sure grateful for that!) If you wondered about the secrets of how the brain works, a whole lot of it comes down to these tiny food coloring gates. One of my favorite things I learned this last semester was how the voltage-gated channel sensor works. If you're curious, I'll explain it in the next little paragraph below. If you're tired of these channels at this point, I understand. The fact that something so small can make so much sense and be so important is just beautiful to me.

https://www.researchgate.net/figure/General-architecture-of-a-voltage-gated-ion-channel-A-Each-subunit-is-composed-of-six_fig1_23457002

The "voltage sensor" of a voltage-gated ion channel is a positively charged section of protein that (like the channel) goes through the membrane of the neuron. When the neuronal membrane is at rest, the inside of the neuron is more negatively charged than the outside (about 70 mV less than the outside). This negative charge pulls the positively voltage sensor (the S4 region shown above) toward it (or downward according to the picture) and keeps the channel shut. When the inside of the cell becomes depolarized (because of other channels opening, or depolarization coming from another part of the neuron), the more positive (up to 60 mV more positive than the outside of the neuron) inside of the neuron pushes the voltage sensor up. This pulls on the S5 region of the channel which then bends and opens the channel! It can close using this same mechanism and a lack of depolarization, or be closed early by something like a blocking particle. I hope that explanation made some sort of sense. Mom if you read this, this is something I'd love to tell Dad. He's like me in liking to explain cool things that make a lot of sense to him, and that's totally what I'm doing right now :D

There's a whole lot we don't know

As you can imagine, with billions of neurons with their own set of ion channels, neurotransmitters, and intricate connections, the specifics of every neuron and every connection is still unknown (though there are projects like the "Connectome" that are working on it). Bigger pieces of the "secrets of the brain" puzzle are still missing too. It has been really humbling to learn about the mechanics of the brain and the psychology and see the many (sometimes obvious) holes that remain. We know that the hippocampus and medial temporal lobe are involved in the formation of new memories and memory storage, but we don't know all the details. We keep dancing the line between biology and psychology, known and unknown.

Continuing to learn has brought about some really neat discoveries! Those diligent researchers working so hard and long to work at such a tiny scale deserve a lot of credit. Recent discoveries I have found particularly interesting are "glymphatics" or the idea that your brain literally washes itself with fluid as you sleep (yes, there is truth to that!) and this can be important for your brain's health. My favorite recent discovery is that the supporting glial cells around neurons also signal to neurons and other glial cells. When I heard this, I first thought, "What?! There's no way." It didn't take long to move to the thought, "Well of course. It's always more complicated than we think." You can read more about glial signaling in articles like this one. I personally don't find this unknown disappointing, but rather see it as beautiful. We can travel to Mars but haven't figured out how we think yet. How cool and complicated are our brains?! I think this unknown also brings a spiritual element to it. I recently read the book "Super Brain: Unleashing the Explosive Power of Your Mind to Maximize Health, Happiness, and Spiritual Well-Being", written by a Ph.D. and M.D. working together. I highly recommend it, by the way - it was perspective changing for me and provoked a lot of thought. They proposed that we are not our brains - that we use our brains and are affected by their circuitry, certainly, but that we can't be reduced to the workings of our cells. That who we are, or what our consciousness is made of, is ultimately separate from our brains and more powerful. I found that incredibly beautiful and inspiring. I believe it.

Respect and a Desire for Conversations

The very real unknown in Neuroscience combined with the feeling - very real for me - that "the more I learn, the less I know", has interestingly given me a lot of respect for... well, everyone. We're all learning and doing our best with what we know. I came to college drawn to the "hard sciences" where you think you can explain away everything. And to be fair, you can explain a lot, and the research that helps us find more explanations is so valuable. But I've come to see that even when we wish life were black and white, there is so much gray. I sometimes became frustrated or would laugh at my Cognition textbook which would explain multiple psychological theories for something like mental imagery and then ultimately come to the conclusion that multiple theories were at least partially right. Though I still sometimes wish we could draw more distinct lines, the researchers that work in the grayer area of the "softer sciences" have gained so much respect from me. What a difficult task.

This has only increased my desire to have meaningful conversations with those around me. I know my neighbor, my professor, my little sister, and the garbage man all have something inspiring to teach me. Humans of New York is a great example of this. We are around each other so much, but do we really pick each other's brains for the different and important knowledge we all hold? Getting together with family, high school friends, or groups of moms alike, I come back to wondering what everyone thinks and knows. These kinds of conversations are so valuable, and I've been inspired to start them more when I can.

I can do anything... and so can you.

The VAST majority of Neuroscience majors at BYU are Pre-Med. Going Pre-Med is something that I considered for my life, but ultimately felt wasn't the path meant for me. Learning alongside, studying with, and helping to teach (as a TA) these many Pre-Med students has been an amazing experience for me. I have learned that I could honestly become a wonderful doctor if I wanted to, and I have good friends accepted to medical schools and wonderful professors with M.D.s and Ph.D.s who would back me up in saying that. I never thought I would be able to be close enough to the process of applying to medical schools to be able to say something like that with any sort of confidence. I saw ALL sorts of people who are going to become dang good doctors. Those who flew through classes with straight-As, those who really struggled to get those kinds of grades but were incredibly kind people, and those who retook classes several times and were sometimes kinda bummed out but still holding onto their dream. I know the process of getting through medical school is a world all its own, but these people have made it into medical schools and are working hard to pursue their dreams, and they're going to get there. I loved this. It helped me see I really could do that too. I could really do anything I wanted to if I put my mind to it, even if it was hard or didn't come naturally at first. I know there are real limitations sometimes, and people can feel legitimately stuck and like there is no way out of their niche of life (if this is you, I'd love to talk to you and see if the resources we both have and the people we know can't help us come up with something). But generally, if you want to be a doctor, do it. If you want to be an artist, do it. If you have always wanted to try out that new skill or develop that new talent but aren't very good at it, try it and work on it. You can totally do it. If you want to be a chef, do it. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom (which is a complicated and difficult task all its own), by golly, do it. Do you and do it well.

I love teaching

Inevitably, my time as a Neuroscience major taught me many things about me. It taught me surprising things - like that it really was possible to get 100% on a test at college and be the highest grade in your class sometimes. (But really, who knew?! That is so crazy to me.) It taught me it's okay to let go a little and wear PJ's to test reviews on campus. And interestingly, it taught me that I love teaching. I felt drawn to leadership positions in high school, but I always saw my older sister as the teacher of the family, even when we did humanitarian work together in Peru and both led regular classes teaching English. My first semester, I took Chem 105 (a life-changing class for me, by the way. It's where I met Andrew!). Twice a week, we met with a TA in "Recitations" where we went through practice problems and could ask questions and work together. I had an awesome TA, and was drawn to what he was doing. I became a TA for Chem 105, then Chem 106, and then Chem 351 (O Chem). I loved Recitations, whether we went through a practice sheet or I came up with my own problems to go through. Preparing material for recitations (and test reviews) was a challenge, and I definitely had my humbling experiences of messing things up and being corrected, but I felt so alive in a position where I tried my darnedest to use my knowledge to prepare material and explain things in a way that would be helpful and make a difference. This has made me only more excited for my dream of becoming an Occupational Therapist, where I can build on my love for the sciences and use my knowledge to work with and help people.

Final Thoughts

These are the reflections from my Neuroscience Major that stand out the most to me right now. I will likely continue to learn from and reflect on different things I have learned, because - like with any big endeavor - I've come out a different (and hopefully better!) person, and different things often stand out to me as I continue to experience life. I'm so grateful for the experiences I had to learn, and that we all have so many opportunities to learn through education, work, experience, families, and relationships. I hope to be better at asking for and tastefully sharing meaningful things learned with those around me, so we can all learn more and be better because of each other.

My Book of Mormon Challenge

My challenge. My story. My thoughts.

So... my phone. This is what this challenge really looked like to me :)

The Challenge
If you haven't heard of this recent "Book of Mormon Challenge", here's the background. Every April and October, my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) holds a "General Conference", where the leaders of our church (the prophet, his counselors, the 12 apostles, and other leaders of the women, young men, young women, and the children) talk to the church membership. This last October, the leader of my church, President Russel M. Nelson challenged the women to read the Book of Mormon between then (October 6th and 7th) and the end of the year.

Where I Was & Background on the Church
At this time, I was looking for some answers, and in many ways looking for a boost to my faith. Faith is a journey, and my church makes some big claims about being the fully restored gospel of Jesus Christ on the earth, having a book of scripture from the ancient Americas who Christ also appeared to and ministered to as some the "other sheep I have, which are not of this fold" that he mentioned to the Jews (John 10:16). It claims to have living apostles and prophets today who have been given divine authority from God, conferred by blessings from John the Baptist and Peter, James, and John to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery. The gospel of this church makes sense to me and has helped me come closer to Christ and become a better person, but it doesn't mean I don't have questions. We are encouraged to take questions to General Conference and pray to have the Spirit with us to see if we can't find answers to those questions. My biggest question going into this last conference was if the prophet of our church is truly called and directed by God (beyond being a wonderful and kind man). I had been taught that this is true growing up, and had felt it confirmed to me before, but I had some new questions and concerns, and I felt that knowing he was a true prophet would help calm my heart and mind. I left General Conference not totally settled in my heart and mind, but determined to do the challenge of reading the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. I wanted to put in all the effort I could to act on faith, and see if that didn't help me find the answers I was looking for.

Patterns
I had never read all the the 539 pages of scripture in the Book of Mormon so quickly before. While reading, I noticed recurring themes, and these themes taught me a lot. I wanted to write some down here along with what they taught me:

Prophets

The Book of Mormon is written by prophets and is a testament that prophets are and have always been important, just like the Bible does. It should seem obvious. In approaching conference, however, I wasn't totally sure what I thought of living prophets and apostles in our church. I know they are wonderful and caring and admirable people, but they are people just like us, after all. Reading the Book of Mormon this time, I saw how God's prophets in that book were people too, and imperfect, but led by God and his Spirit. Furthermore, the prophets themselves were well studied in the scriptures of their time (what they had of the Bible before leaving Jerusalem around the time of Jeremiah), and likened them to themselves to learn and be better people. I appreciated the reminder that if God can use imperfect people to write such inspired and helpful scriptures, and to be his prophets in other times, I'm sure he can do the same today. The fact that I had gained this peace and had gained enough of an answer to be satisfied on this topic by following the words of the prophet today was not lost on me either. The more I learned about these topics and the more peace of mind I found as I read, the more grateful I became for this challenge extended from our prophet. It seemed to be just what I didn't know I needed. The reminder that God is very aware of me meant a lot to me, and the fact that these answers to prayer came to me by following the guidance of the prophet stood as proof to me that President Russel M. Nelson truly can be a wonderful man, an imperfect man, and a prophet today.

Faith

Though I knew the Book of Mormon stories demonstrated great faith in many of its characters, I hadn't always realized the trust, service, hard work, and sacrifice included in the faith of these people. For example, Ammon entered enemy land in hopes of bringing the people there (the Lamanites) the joy of the gospel. When the king asked him why he had come to their land, he simply said he wanted to live among them, perhaps until the day he died. He said he would like to serve the king, and he proceeded to serve the king diligently just as he said he would. He called the people around him his brethren, and protected them from harm. He worked hard, sacrificed his time and home and previously conceived notions, and trusted in God. When the king began asking him questions regarding religion and Ammon's physical and moral strength, Ammon sacrificed the opportunity to be prideful and gave the glory to God. If you're interested in reading more about Ammon, he's an awesome guy. You can find his story in Alma 17:20-Alma 18:42 (You can look up any of the scriptures I reference through the rest of this post at https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm?lang=eng!). The MANY stories of people like Ammon who had great faith in their individual situations reminded me that I can sacrifice for my faith as well. I can work hard, study hard for answers, and serve others as I strive to have Christian charity, but I can also trust in God and sacrifice knowing 100% of the answers all the time.

Doubt/Unbelief

I have had a lot of questions about doubt and unbelief recently. Chiefly among them is the question if unbelief is a sin. I found many examples of reproach in the Book of Mormon for wickedness, but wickedness usually referred to whoredoms, dishonesty, murder, plundering, and other things that I think we would all agree today are morally wrong. There were also many examples of individuals and communities being blessed for their faith and some warnings for if everyone fell into unbelief, but I still don't feel totally settled on this matter. If you have any thoughts or insights, I would love to hear them in the comments (or you can message me if you feel your opinion might be controversial to others). I think my "answer for now" regarding unbelief is that it is different than wickedness, and that it is important and right to love people regardless of their beliefs, and work hard to do my best to figure out what I believe myself. I am again reminded of the example of Ammon who loved the people before he shared his message of Christ with them. To those who aren't familiar with the Book of Mormon, I promise there are many, many more people in this book than Ammon, but he's one of my favorites, and a great example for the things I have wanted to talk about thus far.

Deliverance/Strength of the Lord

Similar to the Bible, the Book of Mormon is replete of examples of the faithful being delivered and upheld by the strength of the Lord. I love these examples and the promise that I too can be strengthened through Christ and delivered from the trials that I face in life (whether it be by resolving them or - probably more likely - helping me to deal with them in the best way). I was honestly shocked by how often this comes up in the Book of Mormon. If you haven't noticed it before, keep an eye out ;)

The Spirit

I loved the many references to the Spirit in the Book of Mormon, beginning with the first character in the Book of Mormon, Nephi, who when trying to solve a difficult situation was "led by the spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do" (1 Nephi 4:6). The guidance of the Spirit has felt very real in my life. I truly believe the Spirit has helped guide me to certain activities that really helped me grow in high school, to BYU, to majoring in Neuroscience, to dating and marrying Andrew, and to the decision to have a baby when we did (and before completing my education), and to my dream of being an Occupational Therapist, among other things. I love that great prophets in the Bible and Book of Mormon, and even faithful war generals in the latter, could be led by the same power that I am. I'm so grateful for the Spirit in my life, and the confidence it gives me in moving forward in big decisions, because I know I am making the best decisions I can make both "by study and also by faith" (D&C 109:7 You can find the Doctrine & Covenants here: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament?lang=eng).

Attributes of the Lord/God

Joseph Smith has said, "My first object is to find out the character of the only wise and true God, and what kind of a being He is." He has also said, "If men do not comprehend the character of God, they do not understand themselves." (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-joseph-smith/chapter-2?lang=eng) As I read the Book of Mormon, I noticed that there were things I could learn about the attributes of God and Christ through the teachings shared and the interactions described between the Lord and the people. I wanted to list what I noticed here:

Christ

Part of this "Book of Mormon Challenge" was to mark references to Christ. I highlighted all the times Christ was named, and decided to also keep track of the different names given to Him. I knew The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ was just that, but I was surprised how much longer it took me to read some chapters because there were so many references to Christ to slow down and mark. I loved seeing the many different prophets "talk of Christ, preach of Christ, prophesy of Christ, and... write according to [their] prophecies" (2 Nephi 25:26). They wrote of Christ "that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins", and they believed so firmly in Christ and were strengthened and delivered by him repeatedly. I enjoyed reading Christ's ministry to the Americas anew (beginning in 3 Nephi 11) and seeing how much he talks of the Jews and what he taught them in Jerusalem and how the people in the Americas are related to the House of Israel. In a day that is skeptical of so many beliefs and practices that can't yet be proven or disproven (and may never be able to be in this life), I liked the connections to the Bible here (and other places throughout the Book of Mormon) that helped remind me that (at least to me) the Book of Mormon and how it came to be makes at least as much sense as the Bible. If this idea bothers you, you can just take it as my belief with a grain of salt, but I'd also be happy to share why I think that if you're interested. I was happy to see that even in the many war chapters in Alma and the changing kings in Ether, the focus of the book is really Christ and testifies of him. I love Christ.

Parenting/Families

The verse that mentioned "that our children may know..." above wasn't the only verse that related to families and parenthood. Parenthood is really important to me at this stage in my life and I think about it often. Likely because of this, verses that mentioned families and children stood out to me more than they had before. I saw many examples of parents teaching children, and that highlighted the importance of teaching good values to my own children. Even the often used phrase "the children of men" seemed to stand out to me more. I love that Christ did personally "teach and minister unto the children" when visiting them (3 Nephi 26:14) and told the people to "Behold your little ones" (3 Nephi 17:23). I felt confirmed to me when reading these things that God both cares about me as his child and cares about my children and my care for them - and that he would help me with that.

An Organized Church

Along with the reality of a living prophet today that is truly led and inspired by God, something that has been coming into question more in the modern day is if a person really needs a church. I had been thinking about this more in my life, and was surprised to find the many references to a church in the Book of Mormon - I tagged 120 references I personally thought applied. Moroni even talks to those "that are of the church, that are the peaceable followers of Christ" (Moroni 7:3). Prophets taught in synagogues (Moroni 7:1), people did "kneel down with the church and pray" (Moroni 4:2), and there were exhortations to "build up again my church" (Mormon 3:2), have meetings conducted "after the manner of the workings of the Spirit" (Moroni 6:9), and we are warned against pride entering into the church (Helaman 3:33). We are exhorted to "meet together oft; and not forbid any man from coming unto you when ye shall meet together" (3 Nephi 18:22), to pray in church (3 Nephi 18:16), and to break bread and bless it (3 Nephi 18:5). In many of the war chapters, the Nephites proclaimed to be fighting "for the safety of their lives and their women and their children... also to maintain their rights, and the privileges of their church and of their worship, and their freedom and liberty." (3 Nephi 2:12). If you're tired of references at this point, I am too :D I was just so surprised by how much it talked about a church along with talking about Christ and his gospel. It showed me that a church, like prophets, have always been part of God's work and his plan. I was reminded that there would be faults because we are all human (Mormon 8:17), that we should not condemn because of imperfection (Mormon 9:31), and that "by their works ye shall know them; for if their works be good, then they are good also" (Moroni 7:5).

My Thoughts
These are just some of the themes I found and what they taught me. I am so grateful that following the prophet's direction in trying this challenge helped me to find answers to all my questions. I want to be deliberate about my life and what I do and believe. While I admit and understand that I do not and will not have all the answers and I see a lot more gray in the world than black and white, reading this book at this point in my life has helped me to understand feel more peace and satisfaction with the answers I do have and am continuing to learn. It has made me excited to keep learning and building on who I am and the testimony and beliefs that I have. I feel like I now have more real and honest answers for my children when they ask, "Why do we go to church?" and "Why do we listen to the prophet?". I feel that I have read and seen that prophets and a church have always been a part of God's plan and his work on the earth, and that we can come closer to Him by listening to the prophet and working with and learning with those around us in church. I want to keep learning and studying so I can find my answers to other questions that I have or that my kids might ask, such as, "Why don't we get tattoos?", "Why do we dress modestly?", "Why don't we drink coffee or tea?" or even "Why do we go to Stake Conference? It's so boring..." and if I personally truly think those things are important beyond being deliberate with the choices we make with our bodies and our time. I have seen that I can truly study and learn for myself (beyond searching by terms in lds.org, which is also helpful).

I'm also grateful for this chance to share some things that I have learned with you. It helps me to learn and grow when I verbalize/write the reflections that I have. I'm grateful that this will be here for me, my immediate and extended family, my friends, and my children to look at one day and see that I did. I did listen to the prophet and sacrifice time and some activities to read the Book of Mormon during my last semester of college with a young baby at home. I did read slower and mark things because it was more meaningful to me even though it took longer. I did look for things I was wondering about. I did find answers to my questions and feel the Spirit touch my heart. I did "come and see" and try something hard that had potential to be very good for me. I did also gain questions, and will hopefully continue to learn. I want them to see that I am trying to be a person who does things like this, whether others know about them or not, because it makes me a better person... and I am (imperfectly) working hard to be a better person.

Finding Our Light
There is one story that stood out to me especially in reading the Book of Mormon this time that I would like to share if you're still interested. It's in the Book of Ether, a record of the Jaredite people who left the Tower of Babel from the Bible and were directed by the Lord across the seas to the Americas. As you can imagine, this journey across the sea was a frightful and faithful one. The people were directed to make boats that were "tight like unto a dish", and the brother of Jared prays to the Lord to know how some aspects of the boats and the journey will work out. Specifically, he asks how the boats will be steered toward the promised land, how they will have air in the boats, and how they will have light in their boats or if they are to cross the waters in darkness. The Lord tells the brother of Jared that he will take care of the steering, gives him specific directions on how to create a hole for air in the boats that they can close if water comes in, and then the Lord says,

"I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?"

This passage stood out to me as a powerful analogy for faith in my life. The Lord doesn't tell the Brother of Jared not to worry because he will be carried gently across the top of the waters. He says that winds and floods will come and he will sometimes be swallowed up in the depths of the sea. Life is and will be hard, and there will be times that we will feel totally swallowed up in the sea. But the Lord wants to help us, buoy us up, and give us light to have when we are both on top of or underneath the waves. He can't simply give us this light - we have to work to obtain it with His help - but He wants to give it to us in a way that makes sense for us. I loved the reminder that God wants me to have light and he will help me to find it. And if all I can do is bring him stones, he can make them shine forth in darkness.

"And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.

And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.

And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.

And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land..."

I am grateful that even and especially when it is faith and questions about the church that have made me feel somewhat "buried in the deep", the Lord has still given me light and I have felt like I have been able to come forth again upon the top of the waters with his help. I know this isn't everyone's feeling or journey, and that's okay - this is my journey. I hope the wind, even if rough at times, will always continue to blow me toward a better me.

Behind the scenes of taking the photo of my phone above ;)