It has really been impressed upon me lately how important family is to life. It has become a clear truth to me in my life that family (immediate family, extended family, joining a new family, and creating a small new family of my own with Andrew) brings the greatest personal refinements and the most happiness to me in my life.
(This is my extended family - just the ones who could make it to a random wedding in November.)
If I didn't have family, I would be able to do a lot more of what I want to do. I could improve on some talents or develop new ones more than I do now. But I don't think indulging in those things selfishly could possibly make me as happy as I am spending time with people I love and sharing what I do learn and the successes I have when I have them. With family, I have learned that I am not entitled to everything, that people are the most important thing, what service really means, how I can be a teacher, student and friend all at once, and what is really important in life. What really lasts.
With that, I want to share some things I have learned from my parents.
Dad has taught me that I am more important than a problem. I have backed into his car, flooded the basement, and found myself in a mess of broken metal or irrigation water more than once. Any time I had made a clear mistake that had very real consequences, going to dad usually didn't mean you were in for a lecture. Dad listened to the situation and accepted it, came and helped whenever I needed help even if he was pretty upset and it was really inconvenient for him (he can still fix most anything...) and calmly gave me the tools and support to fix what I had done, knowing it was good for me to acknowledge and accept the consequences and work to fix the situation. He taught me forgiveness.
Mom taught me that loving people is always the right answer, and you should give when you can. She supported me with time and gas money like crazy. When I has an event to attend in Seattle the same day as a competition 3 hours away at home in Prosser and I realized my mistake in planning... she drove to Seattle and back so I could do both. She got me out of class in high school so I could do homework for another class. No matter how late it was or what I was unreasonably upset about (often accentuated by the fact I was tired), she would listen to me and talk to me until I felt better. I once called her on Easter Sunday at 1 in the morning with a new situation that worried me not even knowing if she would be awake and not remembering it was Easter, and she was there for me then too. She once helped Alana with a hard day of school, picking her up and taking her out... only for Alana to realize later that that day was my mom's birthday. Her first instinct is to give, and she has made having faith in a God who is always there for me make sense, because I had a parent who was always there for me already. She is an incredible voice of love and reason for our family, for her family, and for her friends. She taught me dependability and love.
Dad taught me that sometimes you just have to work, and that the service that is inconvenient and not glorious is the most real service. From cold fingers fixing fence on a clear winter night to getting up Saturday morning for a family project to telling us we were going to help a family move and staying until it was too dark to continue, he taught this by word and example. I found that you can find real joy in the work, and that rest is much more fulfilling afterward. He taught me the real value of work and the real meaning of service.
Mom taught me the joys of raising children and having a family. Even when I saw how tired or frustrated she was at times, she loved her family. She taught me you don't always have to make extravagant dinners or a spotless house to be a good Mom, and I saw through hearing others talk about my mom how often people really do see past those things and what a blessing your time and love can be to the lives of others. She taught me charity.
They taught me the simple joy of playing with kids and eating good snacks, but that it's also okay to not have to be a jungle gym all the time (: That you can solve a problem with a laugh.They taught me the value of good conversations. How wonderful it is to be outside and how much joy you can find in simple things. The importance of being a good Christian before I was a good Mormon. They taught me I don't need much to be happy. They taught me the importance of being kind.
They showed me that even as an imperfect person, you can teach principles and give love in a way that comes across perfectly. They taught me that it is never an option to give up on family, and that it's always an option to let something go. That it's good to have fun and that time together is valuable.
I am so grateful for an proud of my imperfect family and am so grateful that they love and are proud of me. It is such a wonderful growing experience to be expanding my family as I joined Andrew's, adding new personalities, opinions, and traditions and realizing that there is always room for more love and that different ideas are okay way more often than not. I learned how amazing it is that someone can love you before they even know you.
I have learned with my family now with Andrew the value of trusting a person's love for you as you are honest about different ideas or situations that you are unhappy with. I have felt the joy of learning together and developing the habits we want individually and as a couple. I have enjoyed recognizing our differences and approaching them with a laugh, and finding a plan when we need a way to bring them together.
I have felt the joy of giving and of receiving, and how important it is to do both. I have remembered once again that if I had to give everything I wanted and loved up one at a time, all my dreams and plans and hopes for the future, the one thing I couldn't give up is family. And I feel so blessed that through long days and little misunderstandings and time apart, all of my families love me, and I am able to have them AND the hopes and dreams I have for my schooling, career, and talents for myself and for my family. I am so spoiled to get to work toward those things in such a blessed and wonderful time of life right now, that is exciting because of where we are going, but also exciting because of where we are right now.
If my writing this on the Monday of a week with three tests and only a few weeks from finals doesn't show how true it is to me, I don't know what will. Family, or those kinds of relationships and friendships, are always worth it.
