Why We Spent No Money On...

When I was married on November 19, 2016, it was a magical day. Our families had come, the most beautiful place was rented for the reception, we were so excited about the food, we had nice ties and socks for the groomsmen and necklaces and beautiful blue dresses for the bridesmaids. We had great photographers who did a fantastic job. In all the festivities though, there was something, or someone, that we didn't spend a penny on.

That was me. If you want to argue it you could probably win, because we did buy the flowers and my wedding band, but that's pretty much it.

I also know this isn't some crazy thing and there are probably many women who fall in this situation for their weddings. I also definitely want to say that I don't think it's bad in any way to spend money on makeup or hair or a beautiful dress you love, because I really can't argue that it's not worth it and the bride is and does deserve to be beautiful and feel like a princess. I wanted to mention a couple reasons that not spending any money on the bride for my wedding was special for me though.

First, it was because I'm blessed. I went dress shopping and didn't find one I loved enough for it to be worth it's price. My wonderful sister was okay with me using her wedding dress, and I loved it. It was form fitting and lace and long sleeved just like Andrew and I liked. Because she's my sister and we are built similarly I didn't need it modified in a single way either. And the fact that there was a button or two missing on the back just made me smile because it reminded me how much I love my family and my sister and was grateful for her generosity.

I was blessed to be the heir of Andrew's great grandmother's wedding ring. It's not a real ruby, because his great grandfather couldn't afford one, and we can't really either right now (: It's vintage, and unique, and it was expected that if we used it it would be for an engagement ring and we would upgrade it and pick our own wedding ring, but we didn't really want to. Now my ring, like me, is unique, both interesting and absolutely beautiful, and part of something bigger than just me.

I was also offered a tiara from one aunt on my mother's side to another aunt to me. I loved its sparkle and kindness, so it became part of my day too, maybe in an unconventional way.

As for shoes and jewelry, it was what I already had from high school prom and shoes a friend once bought me. This was a second reason I enjoyed not spending money on me. I felt like me as I was was perfect already, and I enjoyed keeping to my simple me-ness.

The third main reason is the sense of independence that is both a strength and weakness of mine. I did my hair and makeup, and made my bouquets and Andrew's boutonniere the day of our actual wedding, and I'm proud of those things. The bouquet for our reception in Prosser had the little daisies I love and turned out so beautiful.

My independent, stubborn self enjoyed doing these things for myself, and I felt like I was helping other people in a way by trying to keeping the focus on me simple and easy. It was cost-efficient for us, and looking back, there would be less pictures of imperfect hair or imbalanced flower bouquets had someone else done those things for me. But there was something special in being me and letting that be wonderful. The me that didn't mind when the bustle of the dress broke and I either drug it or hiked it up in my hand.

The me that was pretty bad about carrying her bouquet with her and honestly got the bottom of her dress pretty dirty. The me that really does want to try to do all that she can for herself for both her and the family and friends around her's sake so she is taken care of and can help take care of others.

Also don't worry, I wasn't too selfish in getting ready myself. You can't see it, by Molly painted my toenails (:

I'm definitely not perfect at it and still pretty dependent on others for things like... directions... but hey, I'm trying. I think because of all those things, I don't mind some imperfect hair pictures or funny backwards tiaras or imperfectly balanced bouquets, because it felt perfect to me, and that's what mattered most.