Traditions

Leaving home for work, schooling, or other reasons gives an individual many different opportunities. One of the less obvious of these opportunities is the chance to reflect on your own family and how you want to keep or change things about how you were raised for the rest of your life and a potential future family.

Many family and marriage books talk about traditions as a valuable tool for tying a family together. They can also be times to reinforce important family values, such as reading the Christmas story around Christmas time. 

Making traditions happen requires effort, especially from the adults/parents involved. I'm grateful for these efforts made in the traditions of our families. I personally think there are two kinds of best traditions - the ones that reinforce important values in a solemn way, and those that are completely ridiculous to everyone else but totally awesome to you. I know those are two extremes, but man both are so cool.

With that in mind, here are some of our family traditions that I want to put in the effort to keep in my family, because they have strengthened my relationship to family members and I know it can continue to do so, as well as strengthen the love and memories in Andrew and my little family.

Hug pictures on birthdays. I think this started from a "silly picture" idea one year, but now they're my favorite. If you don't think you're loved, too bad. There's proof! Even when not everyone is happy and it doesn't work out the greatest, because... family pictures.

We have a similar "hug picture" on our wedding day, and it makes my heart happy.

Family pictures once a year. Andrew and I came up with this one ourselves. We don't have kids yet, but we do want to continue investing in remembering us and our family as it does grow, because our family is important to us, and pictures are really valuable to me. We'll see if we really stick to this one, but we're going to try!

Special dinners. The Peters have "Cranberry Ice" with Thanksgiving and the Jacobsons have Shirley Temples Christmas Eve, and I like delicious drinks! The Jacobsons have a special tomato soup for Christmas Eve and I don't love tomato soup, and the Peters have Clam Chowder and Andrew doesn't love Clam Chowder, so we'll likely find something we both really like (:

The Hill Cumorah Pageant. The Hill Cumorah Pageant was as much a home to Andrew's family as any of their houses were as a military family. They have been a part of the cast for 6-9*** years, and it is always a meaningful spiritual and family experience for them. When Andrew and I were dating, I realized he was welcoming me into his family when he asked if I would want to join them for pageant that next summer. We weren't able to make it this summer, and might not be able to make it next summer either, but we are excited to be able to fly out to see it and his family there when we can, and to be in the cast together one day.

 

Family reunions. These can be tricky.

 They require a lot of effort to plan and coordinate, and are investments for people getting together. It's different for every family, but some of my favorite reunion experiences have been going fun places together (like a pool or a big park), family Olympic Games, Talent Shows, White Elephant Gift Exchanges, and my grandma's notorious Favorite Child Award for her kids (and our parents), which has been a trophy/medallion/wrestling belt/royal robe, and the process of which is different every year, from family campaigning to a name drawn out of a hat to grandkids voting on the funniest Mad Libs.

 It doesn't work for every family, but man is it hilarious in ours.

Gifts to Jesus. At the beginning of December at a Family Home Evening, we choose gifts to Jesus and tie a ribbon on the Christmas tree to represent and remind us of our gift. It could be being kinder to someone, improving a habit, serving someone, or whatever effort you feel like you could give to Christ that month. We talk later in the month about what our gifts to Jesus were, if we want to share, and how they went. This has been meaningful to me as I grew and helped me to remember Christ and turn outwards during the Christmas season. I love other families' traditions of adopting families for Christmas, and I might tie those together somehow with our kids some day. 

Lighting candles for the names of Christ. Christmas is probably the most tradition-rich time of year, so it's no surprise that many of my personal favorite traditions are Christmas ones. The Jacobsons have a Christmas tradition of lighting one large center candle for the name "Jesus Christ", and then several each person lights one tea light around the center candle for another name of Christ until we consult the Bible Dictionary/Topical Guide and eventually run out of names. The words that represent of what Christ is for us and the metaphor of him being our light is really powerful. I happen to only have a video of Bryan (Andrew's twin) blowing out the candles this past year, so here you go:

My siblings all sleep in the same room Christmas Eve and we tell funny stories or watch a movie in the basement as we go to sleep. We switched through my siblings bedrooms, the living rooms, and even the hallway, and now mostly sleep in the basement because it is big enough to hold all of us and our spouses. It's so fun to be together and share the anticipation of Christmas Day.

The Brother's hike. My dad and his brothers like camping and hiking, and have gotten together pretty regularly during the summers to go hiking together. As the brothers' kids grew, they got to start coming too. I really enjoy these times of being away and into nature. You really talk to and enjoy each other and can have pretty funny log-raft building or freezing lake-jumping experiences. Now and then someone will start singing a hymn around the campfire or while walking and the others will join in, and those have been really memorable and sacred experiences for me. Imagine how happy I was that Andrew really enjoyed our mini-brothers-hike last year and was asking my uncles at our family reunion if we would have one this year (:

Traditions don't have to be big things, though those can be really fun. The little things are just as important, if not more so. You usually don't realize just how many traditions you have. Going to Church every Sunday, or having family game/movie nights or family/couple walks are all things that have meant a lot to me. It's so cool to be in time where I am more obviously deciding and creating my own life and my life with my husband, but we all make these decisions every day. Making new goals, picking new aspirations, or adding a new tradition is just all part of the fun. What traditions mean a lot to you?