On the other hand, you don't have to have an extensive to-do list to wonder if you are doing the right things with your time. At times of my life when I didn't have work or school or both (even during holidays or when I have made a decision not to work and knew that was the right decision to make and was still doing many other good things), you can feel like your to-do list isn't impressive enough, or that even amid not doing many things you still can't do the things you still have to do well enough or in the time you have.
I have found that the solution to both of these situations is the same. Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was a one-size-fits-all manual to time management and life management? One process that, if known and followed, would give you complete confidence in the decisions you are making and the direction you are going, help you feel good about every day, and make the dreaded to-do list (whether long or short or full of suggestions or tasks that absolutely need to be done) no longer a dreaded thing? Turns out the solution is just that. A simple principle, a simple process, a one-size-fits-all answer.
The solution is to give God your time.
Giving your time to God might not make any sense, especially to people who don't feel especially religious. It also might not seem to make sense and like it might not really be the right way to prioritize and get things done. Give me a chance to explain though. It does sometimes sound like it shouldn't work. But it does. It works for me. I really believe this.
So I should explain some things and make some clarifications. Giving God your time does not mean not planning. It also doesn't mean always serving and praying and doing things that sound like the "holy life". It means doing all you can to plan, prepare, and work hard, and then while doing those things and in the midst of unseen changes of plans and opportunities, trusting God and trying to listen to what He would have you do.
I am a planner, let me tell you. I planned out my entire high school schedule my first quarter as a freshman. I planned out my entire college schedule my first semester as a freshman in college too. It doesn't mean I didn't make any changes to those original plans I made, but I could see how it was all going to work out and how I could do everything that I wanted to do. It meant that when unseen changes showed up (like classes being offered at different times or by different teachers than I expected, or when considering opportunities like serving in student government in high school and going on a study abroad in college, I had a plan to look at and saw how I could make my plan work with the changes that came.
Giving God your time means having patience with these changes that come and faithfully considering opportunities that present themselves. I have a to-do list of the things I would like to get done each day over the weekend so I am as prepared as I would like to be for the coming week of classes. But weekends also mean opportunities to see friends and family, chances to go on dates and spend time with my husband, some extra time for me to indulge in reading or writing or whatever things are important for my own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self-care, and time to run errands like grocery shopping. When I don't stick to my ideal, original plan and reach the end of the day and have left something undone, guilt and frustration naturally sneak up on me. I didn't use my time right, I think. I didn't do good enough. I'm grateful for what I did today, but if I just tried harder I could really get everything done. Some things you really do have to get done - like assignments due the next day or doing laundry so you have jeans for tomorrow - but a lot of changes to plans are okay. This is where faith and listening to the Spirit can really help you have peace of mind. "Did I do everything I absolutely needed to do today?" is often a much easier question to answer than "Did I do enough today?" What does enough mean? It's different for all of us. I think a good definition would be something like this: "enough" is when you have used your time purposefully for things that are priorities for you. There's no specific cut off of amount of time spent with family or friends or number of assignments you are ahead on for next week. "Enough" is doing well. Well doesn't mean perfect, because it doesn't exist. It really just means well.
Once you have done everything you absolutely needed to do, finding your "enough" - or finding your "happy" - for the day is done by looking to God. By having an open mind and heart and choosing to spend time on things when you feel (this is what we call the Spirit) like it is something you should do. Do you really want your life to be full of a calendar where every day has a to-do list where everything is perfectly checked off? No! You want a calendar full of joy, and joy means filling your duties and responsibilities and listening to God the whole time. An opportunity to teach, learn, love, or experience doesn't always wait until you are done with "everything you absolutely have to do today" in filling your duties and responsibilities. Giving God your time means choosing to do the best thing anyway. It means making the best priorities your real priorities. Sometimes that can mean not doing as well on some things you "absolutely have to do today". When it does come down to that, knowing that you gave God your time makes imperfect scores on homework assignments and wearing dirty jeans an extra day worth it.
Working on giving God my time means being willing to set down my to-do list, or change what is on it and when I expect it to occur. It doesn't change the things I would like to have done or be able to magically do all in one day. It changes my attitude. It has helped me reach the end of a day, look at my unfinished to-do list and think of all the things I am glad I did that day. It has helped me remember that taking time for my family and taking time for me are things that are truly important and bring me more happiness than being totally done with homework that isn't due tomorrow. It's faith and following the Spirit, and it brings peace.
When you are striving to follow the Spirit and give God your time, you never have to feel guilty. You can always have complete confidence in doing your best to follow the Spirit. It means you were trying to give time to your truly highest priorities. It means that even if you can't remember what productive things you did yesterday, that you did the things that were most needed and productive for you.
Sometimes giving God your time means working even harder in school and work. This past semester I took 17 credits, worked as a TA of Organic Chemistry, volunteered in Anatomy Academy and with Wasatch Mental Health in the Giant Steps program for preschool-age children with autism. And I threw up 23 times because for the first time in my life, I was starting to grow a baby. I still don't know how I did it. I know I couldn't have done it without Andrew because he nearly always made dinner (which was challenging while I struggled to find foods that sounded good to eat) and did all but maybe an hour total of our dishes and laundry that semester. I didn't know how I was going to do it before it started, honestly. I couldn't tell you how I was going to have enough time because I had no idea. But I really thought about all of the opportunities I had - the classes I wanted to take, the volunteer positions I wanted to take, the job I wanted to have, and the family I wanted to grow, and I felt like they were all things that I should do and that would be good for me to do for myself, for my family, and for the future. I did well in my job and the volunteer positions that I had. The baby is continuing to grow healthy and strong, and my body is healthy and happy too. I got all A's in my 17 credits of classes. But those things didn't all have to turn out that way for me to know that I was making decisions that were good for me and they were good for me by God's standards - and that was enough.
Giving God your time can mean doing more than you would think to choose for yourself, and it can also mean doing less. I struggled with the choice of whether or not I should work this semester, and I felt like it was the best decision for me and my family not to work. I thought and prayed about it, and in listening to the Spirit and really striving to have faith, I felt like I shouldn't work. This doesn't mean I didn't want to work, but I knew it meant I wouldn't work because I want to give God my time, even when it can seem logically like it would be better for my future career and finances to work as much as possible. This has meant I have had more days this semester to read for myself and take long baths and watch shows with my hubby, more time to make dinner and help with laundry (I'm still not the greatest at dishes) and our home. It means I have had more time to plan fun things with family and friends, to play games with my hubby, and help babysit or make a fun dessert for Andrew and I. Giving God my time this semester means doing more of these things than I could have had I chosen to work. It also means trying to be more understanding and open-minded when I get to the end of a day that was full of school responsibilities and I miss working and volunteering and think it all worked out last semester, so why couldn't it work out now? It means having patience in those moments and thinking of all the good things that have come and that I have been able to do, and know that I am trying to give God (and my family) my time, and both God and my family want me to be happy, so I am on a good path and will get plenty of chances to do the fun things I sometimes miss (or even better things) in the future.
Giving God your time means doing the best you can with the time you have and having confidence in that. It means developing your talents, choosing things that make you happy, and continuing to learn. But it means that all those good things (including education, career, family, etc.) can and should stay viewed as good things instead of chosen prison sentences in the form of a dreaded to-do list that makes you feel bad about yourself. I usually take a list of some personal goals with me when I have additional time (like on Christmas vacation or summer break between semesters). I like to read and write in this blog and in my journal, and those things make me feel good and productive. But sometimes giving your time to God means letting go of good goals when they're not necessary goals. I decided to leave my reading and writing goals behind during Christmas break and prioritize a more important goal to me - being with family while I was around them. Do I regret playing so many games or taking pictures of some fun events? Absolutely not. I was trying to give God my time, and I ended up happier than I would have been if I had been internally conflicted about if I should play the game or read my own book. Look at some of the fun moments we got to have!
I didn't write a blog post about Christmas vacation like I originally planned to do (we found out we are having a girl, had a wonderful time and played a lot of games and enjoyed Christmas with my family in Washington, had a wonderful Jacobson family reunion in Vegas, and enjoyed beautiful, snowy Camp Zarahemla with more games with my family back in Washington over New Years). But I don't think I have to feel guilty looking back and knowing that I failed at my original plan to write that blog post, because I was trying to do good things, I was trying to give God my time, and so I did things that I cared about more. They were higher priorities for me, and so they were more worth my time, and I can consider even those moments of self-care and rest as giving God my time in those situations. Even if sometimes those priorities are taking a bath or reading or snuggling with my husband. God wants us to do the best things we can with our time, and the best things aren't always the things that we originally feel like we should do. We should be open to new possibilities, and to things that might truly be more worth it and make us more happy, even when those possibilities don't seem as sexy at first.
I still wonder sometimes how I am going to finish my goal of a Master's degree in Occupational Therapy with children. How I'm going to have time to do the things I feel like I am meant to do in my life and also be the mother I want to be for my children. But if I look a little deeper, I already know how I'm going to do it, even though I don't know the specifics yet or just how hard it will or won't be. I'm going to give God my time. It's a comforting principle in looking at the past, in experiencing the now, and in looking to the future with the plans we can make and the work we can do and all the things we still don't know or can't anticipate.
Giving God your time means being purposeful with your time but also accepting what comes.
God can magnify your time to help you do more than you ever thought you could, and it is also good to simplify your life and live in the moment. You can have your time magnified when necessary and live a purposeful life with the things that are truly most important to you (whatever number or character of things that means for you) by giving God your time.
So write that to-do list and make a plan. Then, as you strive to work diligently and do your best, stay close to God and remember the confidence, comfort, and blessings that come from giving Him your time. I suspect I will be imperfectly working on it my entire life, but every effort I have put into it so far has been so worth it. I can't wait to see what God can make out of my time.
No comments:
Post a Comment