My Book of Mormon Challenge

My challenge. My story. My thoughts.

So... my phone. This is what this challenge really looked like to me :)

The Challenge
If you haven't heard of this recent "Book of Mormon Challenge", here's the background. Every April and October, my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) holds a "General Conference", where the leaders of our church (the prophet, his counselors, the 12 apostles, and other leaders of the women, young men, young women, and the children) talk to the church membership. This last October, the leader of my church, President Russel M. Nelson challenged the women to read the Book of Mormon between then (October 6th and 7th) and the end of the year.

Where I Was & Background on the Church
At this time, I was looking for some answers, and in many ways looking for a boost to my faith. Faith is a journey, and my church makes some big claims about being the fully restored gospel of Jesus Christ on the earth, having a book of scripture from the ancient Americas who Christ also appeared to and ministered to as some the "other sheep I have, which are not of this fold" that he mentioned to the Jews (John 10:16). It claims to have living apostles and prophets today who have been given divine authority from God, conferred by blessings from John the Baptist and Peter, James, and John to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery. The gospel of this church makes sense to me and has helped me come closer to Christ and become a better person, but it doesn't mean I don't have questions. We are encouraged to take questions to General Conference and pray to have the Spirit with us to see if we can't find answers to those questions. My biggest question going into this last conference was if the prophet of our church is truly called and directed by God (beyond being a wonderful and kind man). I had been taught that this is true growing up, and had felt it confirmed to me before, but I had some new questions and concerns, and I felt that knowing he was a true prophet would help calm my heart and mind. I left General Conference not totally settled in my heart and mind, but determined to do the challenge of reading the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. I wanted to put in all the effort I could to act on faith, and see if that didn't help me find the answers I was looking for.

Patterns
I had never read all the the 539 pages of scripture in the Book of Mormon so quickly before. While reading, I noticed recurring themes, and these themes taught me a lot. I wanted to write some down here along with what they taught me:

Prophets

The Book of Mormon is written by prophets and is a testament that prophets are and have always been important, just like the Bible does. It should seem obvious. In approaching conference, however, I wasn't totally sure what I thought of living prophets and apostles in our church. I know they are wonderful and caring and admirable people, but they are people just like us, after all. Reading the Book of Mormon this time, I saw how God's prophets in that book were people too, and imperfect, but led by God and his Spirit. Furthermore, the prophets themselves were well studied in the scriptures of their time (what they had of the Bible before leaving Jerusalem around the time of Jeremiah), and likened them to themselves to learn and be better people. I appreciated the reminder that if God can use imperfect people to write such inspired and helpful scriptures, and to be his prophets in other times, I'm sure he can do the same today. The fact that I had gained this peace and had gained enough of an answer to be satisfied on this topic by following the words of the prophet today was not lost on me either. The more I learned about these topics and the more peace of mind I found as I read, the more grateful I became for this challenge extended from our prophet. It seemed to be just what I didn't know I needed. The reminder that God is very aware of me meant a lot to me, and the fact that these answers to prayer came to me by following the guidance of the prophet stood as proof to me that President Russel M. Nelson truly can be a wonderful man, an imperfect man, and a prophet today.

Faith

Though I knew the Book of Mormon stories demonstrated great faith in many of its characters, I hadn't always realized the trust, service, hard work, and sacrifice included in the faith of these people. For example, Ammon entered enemy land in hopes of bringing the people there (the Lamanites) the joy of the gospel. When the king asked him why he had come to their land, he simply said he wanted to live among them, perhaps until the day he died. He said he would like to serve the king, and he proceeded to serve the king diligently just as he said he would. He called the people around him his brethren, and protected them from harm. He worked hard, sacrificed his time and home and previously conceived notions, and trusted in God. When the king began asking him questions regarding religion and Ammon's physical and moral strength, Ammon sacrificed the opportunity to be prideful and gave the glory to God. If you're interested in reading more about Ammon, he's an awesome guy. You can find his story in Alma 17:20-Alma 18:42 (You can look up any of the scriptures I reference through the rest of this post at https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm?lang=eng!). The MANY stories of people like Ammon who had great faith in their individual situations reminded me that I can sacrifice for my faith as well. I can work hard, study hard for answers, and serve others as I strive to have Christian charity, but I can also trust in God and sacrifice knowing 100% of the answers all the time.

Doubt/Unbelief

I have had a lot of questions about doubt and unbelief recently. Chiefly among them is the question if unbelief is a sin. I found many examples of reproach in the Book of Mormon for wickedness, but wickedness usually referred to whoredoms, dishonesty, murder, plundering, and other things that I think we would all agree today are morally wrong. There were also many examples of individuals and communities being blessed for their faith and some warnings for if everyone fell into unbelief, but I still don't feel totally settled on this matter. If you have any thoughts or insights, I would love to hear them in the comments (or you can message me if you feel your opinion might be controversial to others). I think my "answer for now" regarding unbelief is that it is different than wickedness, and that it is important and right to love people regardless of their beliefs, and work hard to do my best to figure out what I believe myself. I am again reminded of the example of Ammon who loved the people before he shared his message of Christ with them. To those who aren't familiar with the Book of Mormon, I promise there are many, many more people in this book than Ammon, but he's one of my favorites, and a great example for the things I have wanted to talk about thus far.

Deliverance/Strength of the Lord

Similar to the Bible, the Book of Mormon is replete of examples of the faithful being delivered and upheld by the strength of the Lord. I love these examples and the promise that I too can be strengthened through Christ and delivered from the trials that I face in life (whether it be by resolving them or - probably more likely - helping me to deal with them in the best way). I was honestly shocked by how often this comes up in the Book of Mormon. If you haven't noticed it before, keep an eye out ;)

The Spirit

I loved the many references to the Spirit in the Book of Mormon, beginning with the first character in the Book of Mormon, Nephi, who when trying to solve a difficult situation was "led by the spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do" (1 Nephi 4:6). The guidance of the Spirit has felt very real in my life. I truly believe the Spirit has helped guide me to certain activities that really helped me grow in high school, to BYU, to majoring in Neuroscience, to dating and marrying Andrew, and to the decision to have a baby when we did (and before completing my education), and to my dream of being an Occupational Therapist, among other things. I love that great prophets in the Bible and Book of Mormon, and even faithful war generals in the latter, could be led by the same power that I am. I'm so grateful for the Spirit in my life, and the confidence it gives me in moving forward in big decisions, because I know I am making the best decisions I can make both "by study and also by faith" (D&C 109:7 You can find the Doctrine & Covenants here: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament?lang=eng).

Attributes of the Lord/God

Joseph Smith has said, "My first object is to find out the character of the only wise and true God, and what kind of a being He is." He has also said, "If men do not comprehend the character of God, they do not understand themselves." (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-joseph-smith/chapter-2?lang=eng) As I read the Book of Mormon, I noticed that there were things I could learn about the attributes of God and Christ through the teachings shared and the interactions described between the Lord and the people. I wanted to list what I noticed here:

Christ

Part of this "Book of Mormon Challenge" was to mark references to Christ. I highlighted all the times Christ was named, and decided to also keep track of the different names given to Him. I knew The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ was just that, but I was surprised how much longer it took me to read some chapters because there were so many references to Christ to slow down and mark. I loved seeing the many different prophets "talk of Christ, preach of Christ, prophesy of Christ, and... write according to [their] prophecies" (2 Nephi 25:26). They wrote of Christ "that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins", and they believed so firmly in Christ and were strengthened and delivered by him repeatedly. I enjoyed reading Christ's ministry to the Americas anew (beginning in 3 Nephi 11) and seeing how much he talks of the Jews and what he taught them in Jerusalem and how the people in the Americas are related to the House of Israel. In a day that is skeptical of so many beliefs and practices that can't yet be proven or disproven (and may never be able to be in this life), I liked the connections to the Bible here (and other places throughout the Book of Mormon) that helped remind me that (at least to me) the Book of Mormon and how it came to be makes at least as much sense as the Bible. If this idea bothers you, you can just take it as my belief with a grain of salt, but I'd also be happy to share why I think that if you're interested. I was happy to see that even in the many war chapters in Alma and the changing kings in Ether, the focus of the book is really Christ and testifies of him. I love Christ.

Parenting/Families

The verse that mentioned "that our children may know..." above wasn't the only verse that related to families and parenthood. Parenthood is really important to me at this stage in my life and I think about it often. Likely because of this, verses that mentioned families and children stood out to me more than they had before. I saw many examples of parents teaching children, and that highlighted the importance of teaching good values to my own children. Even the often used phrase "the children of men" seemed to stand out to me more. I love that Christ did personally "teach and minister unto the children" when visiting them (3 Nephi 26:14) and told the people to "Behold your little ones" (3 Nephi 17:23). I felt confirmed to me when reading these things that God both cares about me as his child and cares about my children and my care for them - and that he would help me with that.

An Organized Church

Along with the reality of a living prophet today that is truly led and inspired by God, something that has been coming into question more in the modern day is if a person really needs a church. I had been thinking about this more in my life, and was surprised to find the many references to a church in the Book of Mormon - I tagged 120 references I personally thought applied. Moroni even talks to those "that are of the church, that are the peaceable followers of Christ" (Moroni 7:3). Prophets taught in synagogues (Moroni 7:1), people did "kneel down with the church and pray" (Moroni 4:2), and there were exhortations to "build up again my church" (Mormon 3:2), have meetings conducted "after the manner of the workings of the Spirit" (Moroni 6:9), and we are warned against pride entering into the church (Helaman 3:33). We are exhorted to "meet together oft; and not forbid any man from coming unto you when ye shall meet together" (3 Nephi 18:22), to pray in church (3 Nephi 18:16), and to break bread and bless it (3 Nephi 18:5). In many of the war chapters, the Nephites proclaimed to be fighting "for the safety of their lives and their women and their children... also to maintain their rights, and the privileges of their church and of their worship, and their freedom and liberty." (3 Nephi 2:12). If you're tired of references at this point, I am too :D I was just so surprised by how much it talked about a church along with talking about Christ and his gospel. It showed me that a church, like prophets, have always been part of God's work and his plan. I was reminded that there would be faults because we are all human (Mormon 8:17), that we should not condemn because of imperfection (Mormon 9:31), and that "by their works ye shall know them; for if their works be good, then they are good also" (Moroni 7:5).

My Thoughts
These are just some of the themes I found and what they taught me. I am so grateful that following the prophet's direction in trying this challenge helped me to find answers to all my questions. I want to be deliberate about my life and what I do and believe. While I admit and understand that I do not and will not have all the answers and I see a lot more gray in the world than black and white, reading this book at this point in my life has helped me to understand feel more peace and satisfaction with the answers I do have and am continuing to learn. It has made me excited to keep learning and building on who I am and the testimony and beliefs that I have. I feel like I now have more real and honest answers for my children when they ask, "Why do we go to church?" and "Why do we listen to the prophet?". I feel that I have read and seen that prophets and a church have always been a part of God's plan and his work on the earth, and that we can come closer to Him by listening to the prophet and working with and learning with those around us in church. I want to keep learning and studying so I can find my answers to other questions that I have or that my kids might ask, such as, "Why don't we get tattoos?", "Why do we dress modestly?", "Why don't we drink coffee or tea?" or even "Why do we go to Stake Conference? It's so boring..." and if I personally truly think those things are important beyond being deliberate with the choices we make with our bodies and our time. I have seen that I can truly study and learn for myself (beyond searching by terms in lds.org, which is also helpful).

I'm also grateful for this chance to share some things that I have learned with you. It helps me to learn and grow when I verbalize/write the reflections that I have. I'm grateful that this will be here for me, my immediate and extended family, my friends, and my children to look at one day and see that I did. I did listen to the prophet and sacrifice time and some activities to read the Book of Mormon during my last semester of college with a young baby at home. I did read slower and mark things because it was more meaningful to me even though it took longer. I did look for things I was wondering about. I did find answers to my questions and feel the Spirit touch my heart. I did "come and see" and try something hard that had potential to be very good for me. I did also gain questions, and will hopefully continue to learn. I want them to see that I am trying to be a person who does things like this, whether others know about them or not, because it makes me a better person... and I am (imperfectly) working hard to be a better person.

Finding Our Light
There is one story that stood out to me especially in reading the Book of Mormon this time that I would like to share if you're still interested. It's in the Book of Ether, a record of the Jaredite people who left the Tower of Babel from the Bible and were directed by the Lord across the seas to the Americas. As you can imagine, this journey across the sea was a frightful and faithful one. The people were directed to make boats that were "tight like unto a dish", and the brother of Jared prays to the Lord to know how some aspects of the boats and the journey will work out. Specifically, he asks how the boats will be steered toward the promised land, how they will have air in the boats, and how they will have light in their boats or if they are to cross the waters in darkness. The Lord tells the brother of Jared that he will take care of the steering, gives him specific directions on how to create a hole for air in the boats that they can close if water comes in, and then the Lord says,

"I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?"

This passage stood out to me as a powerful analogy for faith in my life. The Lord doesn't tell the Brother of Jared not to worry because he will be carried gently across the top of the waters. He says that winds and floods will come and he will sometimes be swallowed up in the depths of the sea. Life is and will be hard, and there will be times that we will feel totally swallowed up in the sea. But the Lord wants to help us, buoy us up, and give us light to have when we are both on top of or underneath the waves. He can't simply give us this light - we have to work to obtain it with His help - but He wants to give it to us in a way that makes sense for us. I loved the reminder that God wants me to have light and he will help me to find it. And if all I can do is bring him stones, he can make them shine forth in darkness.

"And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.

And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.

And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.

And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land..."

I am grateful that even and especially when it is faith and questions about the church that have made me feel somewhat "buried in the deep", the Lord has still given me light and I have felt like I have been able to come forth again upon the top of the waters with his help. I know this isn't everyone's feeling or journey, and that's okay - this is my journey. I hope the wind, even if rough at times, will always continue to blow me toward a better me.

Behind the scenes of taking the photo of my phone above ;)